Monthly Archives: August, 2010

Star Beck: The Wrath of God

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Glenn Beck says America should be about believing in God. Do you think he’s right about that?

What do you think was most important to the “founding fathers?” Freedom? Individual rights vs. the state? Or that we must have a belief in God and laws based on the same?

Which do you think is more important when it comes to the rule of law and the way things work in the United States of America? The Declaration of Independence or the Constitution?

Which document, do you think, was intended to have more sway over our daily lives?

The other day I was flipping through channels and I saw television commentator Glenn Beck on the FOX News Channel hosting some kind of TV show. The studio audience seemed to be comprised mostly of young people. With Beck on stage was a man who would offer up comments regarding things that Beck said. I wish I could find a link to this show but I tried and was not successful.

I admit, I’m not a regular watcher of Beck. But I was momentarily curious. What were my impressions of the man? I have to admit the way he talked was really off-putting. His tone was histrionic and what he had to say seemed to me to be quite full of puffery. That’s just my opinion.

On this particular occasion he was frothing at the mouth about God and the Declaration of Independence. I’ll admit the obvious right up front. Beck is correct. That document clearly talks about a “creator” and so forth.

So what does that mean? That we’re supposed to be a “Christian nation?” That’s what Beck wants you to think. Be a critical thinker, though, and don’t take his word for it. Dig a little deeper.

The purpose of the Declaration of Independence: To announce and explain separation from Great Britain.

The purpose of the Constitution:  A national constitution to replace the Articles of Confederation.

Again I ask, which document do you think is supposed to hold more sway over our laws and how we live our lives?

Beck is correct that the Declaration of Independence mentions a “creator.” But what is he leaving out? What you don’t hear him spouting off about all the time is that the Constitution is strangely silent on the subject of God.

The following words do not appear in the original United States Constitution: God, creator, maker, Christ, Christianity, and religion*. Search the text for yourself and see!

The word “religious” does show up one single time, but it’s not exactly a powerful statement that the founding fathers wanted religion entwined with government. In fact, it says the exact opposite:

From Article VI. “… no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

To my simple mind, this disconnect raises an immediate and important question: If the founding fathers were so concerned about God, why did they fail to broach the subject even a single time in the Constitution? The document that they intended to be the very foundation for our country?

I can see why Beck prefers to avoid bringing attention to this sort of thing. But that doesn’t stop him from appearing on stage with an “expert” and declaring that the word “creator” in a different document means that we’re supposed to be a Christian nation.

In fact, the only logical conclusion that can be drawn from the God disconnect between the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution is that the authors of the Constitution deliberately went out of their way to keep God out. I mean, what else? You think they forgot? I don’t think so. They seemed to put an awful lot of thought into the Constitution. I find it hard to imagine that they would forget about God unless it was deliberate.

All the puffery and histrionics in the world can’t get around the fact that God is missing from the Constitution and that the founding fathers didn’t want religious beliefs to dictate who could hold office.

Amazing, eh?

One last point: What is “freedom of religion?” That comes from the First Amendment which prohibits the federal government from making a law “respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” This was later expanded to state and local governments by the Fourteenth Amendment.

Now for a geometrical proof regarding the “free exercise” of religion:

  • The Constitution guarantees the free exercise of religion in the United States.
  • This guarantees every American the right to choose their own religious beliefs (or even have none at all).
  • By definition and as required by the Constitution, therefore the United States is not a “Christian” nation.

If every American has the right to believe what they want about God and religion, how can there be any requirement that we are a Christian nation? Such a requirement, even if it did exist, would be a direct violation of the Constitution. We’re all free to worship trees or be atheists or be whatever we want to be. It just so happens that most of us are Christians, but that is not a requirement of being an American. According to the Constitution you don’t have to believe in God at all if you don’t want.

That’s not the way Beck wants it, though. Beck believes that a belief in God is a requirement to being a good American. If so, what happens then? Can religious beliefs other than the most popular be legally discriminated against? Can you be excluded from housing based on having the “wrong” belief? Turned away from a job? Jailed? Burned at the stake? Where are these lines, how are they drawn, and who is going to be deciding how every American’s beliefs will be evaluated and legally acted upon?

By the way, Thomas Jefferson was the first to advocate the concept of the separation of church and state in this letter.

Beck is wrong. God does not belong in politics. God has nothing to do with being an American.

Related reading: You don’t have the Constitution for that

* Except for the First Amendment. The word “religion” does appear there.

Happy Anniversary to us

I’m back home. And you didn’t know I was gone because I followed internet safety tips by not revealing I was leaving and the WordPress post scheduling feature worked perfectly. 🙂

My wife and I took a three-day weekend for our five-year wedding anniversary. Woot. Apparently we were married when Katrina hit because we saw stories on the TV about it being the five-year anniversary of that event as well. I didn’t know that.

Prior to leaving we received a new camera from our aunt as a gift. It’s a major upgrade over our old and tired Cool Pix. The new camera is a Canon Powershot SX20 IS. We took something like 480 pictures over three days. A couple might even have turned out. Unfortunately the user manual only came as a PDF file on CD and we didn’t have a computer with us.

Here’s a few shots I took before we left the house including The Great Walk-In Closet Disaster. The bar on her side was literally gave way. Funny how the guy who made this house lives in a $16 million dollar home but the stuff he makes for other people to live in is a bunch of crap. As you can see I really pushed the limits of what this camera can do.

Yes, it's plugged in. What can possibly go wrong?

His side of the walk-in closet

Her side of the walk-in closet

Maybe some more pictures soon. We’re still tired from the trip. 🙂

Hyppo and Critter: About the Mosque

The Princess Bride t-shirts

My next big idea: A line of t-shirts based on the movie The Princess Bride. That movie has a veritable plethora of shirt ideas. 🙂

These are either exact quotes or phrases based on the movie…


I mock your pain.

As you wish.

Looking for the six-fingered man.

Life is pain.

Rodent of unusual size.

I am not left-handed.

Dread Pirate Roberts.

You killed my father. Prepare to die.

You think true love happens every day?

You seem like a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Mostly-dead all day.

I know something you don’t know.

Get used to disappointment.

Give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it.

No one withstands The Machine.

Death only delays true love.

You warthog-faced buffoon.

Please consider me as an alternative to suicide.

My Twitter Happening Tour

I'm in the bathroom!

Ever see a tweet from someone announcing where they are? The usually look a little something like this: “I’m at Taco Bell (1122 Boogie Boogie Ave, Des Moines).”

Well good for you! If I could live vicariously through your next bite of an Enchirito (TM) I would, but I can’t, so I guess I don’t give a flying shit where the fuck you are and what in the world you just might be eating at Taco Bell.

This is the social networking overlord in action? Gads. What have we become?

So on Thursday I decided to go on a whirlwind tour of some key places in the United States. Not a real tour, mind you. It was a virtual tour with Twitter as my play-by-play announcer. The plan was to make tweets that looked like the real McCoy but were actually hand-generated by yours truly based on my sick mind.

Up first, naturally, was a visit to the proctologist. I wanted there to be a moment of genuine WTF? before it became obvious that I was playing some sort of game. I hope some of you truly speculated, “Why the hell is he tweeting about his visit to a fucking proctologist?” Ha ha!

Two of my favorite people noticed what was up and tweeted about my “happening.” First up with the brilliant Blurt who doesn’t miss much. He offered me a very warm sentiment about the proctologist: “Here’s hoping your doctor has small hands.” Indeed! But then he noticed the geographical impossibilities of my tweets and said to my wife: “He is covering a lot of ground today.” Mwuhahaha!

The only other person to notice (at least enough to comment) was BreaAire who said about my visit to The Area 51 Cafe: “Aliens dropped you off? Or are you waiting for the next pickup?” LOL!

Those who follow me on Twitter at the few, the proud, the apparently deranged. I hope some of you enjoyed my smart-assed version of a social media “happening.”

Here are the happening tweets in all their glory:

I’m at Five Islands Lobster Co. (447 Five Islands Road, Georgetown). about 12 hours ago via web

I’m at White House (1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest, Washington). about 13 hours ago via web

I’m at Ladies of the Night Escorts (9450 Mira Mesa Boulevard, San Diego). about 14 hours ago via web

@blurtblog Boy are my arms tired. about 14 hours ago via web in reply to blurtblog

I’m at Smith Funeral Home & Crematory (405 North Columbus Street, Lancaster). about 15 hours ago via web

I’m at Wasilla City Hall (290 E. Herning Ave., Wasilla). about 16 hours ago via web

I’m at The Lipo SurgeryClinic (14855 Blanco Rd., Suite 100, San Antonio). about 17 hours ago via web

I’m at Area 51 Cafe (901 Northeast Loop 410, San Antonio). about 18 hours ago via web

I’m at Saleeby and Wessels Proctology (3814 Browning Place, Suite 100, Raleigh). about 19 hours ago via web

Airlock Time: Dudley Enright

Oh great airlock of space and time, hear my plea! We need you down here on earth today!

An act has been committed. Now comes time for the whining and begging and the attempts to shank all responsibility. Oops. Freudian slip there.

Meet Mr. Michael Enright, the man of the hour. This young man, age 21, apparently asked a New York taxi driver if he was Muslim, and when he got confirmation that was indeed the case, uttered the fateful words, “Consider this a checkpoint” and opened up with his Leatherman on the man’s neck, forearms, face, and hand.

So what are the pertinent facts in this case?

  • Enright was drunk. Oh, so sorry, old chap. I didn’t know. Uncuff him immediately. He’s free to go.
  • He’s only 21. Yep, never mind. It’s ok to slice and dice humans up like a true master of Ginsu.
  • He’s a college student. Duh. Where do you think he got his training?
  • He did volunteer work in Afghanistan. This little bit of info is so important that media places it prominently in the lead frickin’ paragraph. As if it means something.
  • He greeted the driver in Arabic. What’s this supposed to prove? It takes one to know one?
  • He’s an honors student. Ooh, we should go easy on him. He’s a good person!
  • He lives with his parents. True, that does explain a lot. Another gerbil on the rampage.
  • He volunteered with a group that promotes “interfaith dialogue.” Welp, I guess it’s safe to take that off the list of shit that’s helpful, eh?
  • He volunteered with a group that “involved veterans.” Media sure didn’t miss this important fact, whatever the hell it means.

Please don’t let the airlock be denied. Powerful forces will ally to prevent this young man from being sucked out into space, but in the end, I sincerely hope and pray that the airlock will prevail.

Some people say we don’t need hate crime laws. I say this is a textbook case of why we do. Without the Muslim hating component this attack would have never occurred.

In other news, shouldn’t everyone carry a Leatherman in their pocket when they are out drinking? Damn those are handy versatile little suckers.

In the name of the most holy Airlock, amen.

People who look like me

To date I have never shared my picture. It’s a necessary evil since I choose to remain anonymous on my blog. But that doesn’t mean I can’t show you what I look like. :)

Above we see a recruit known only as “Gomer Pyle” from the excellent movie Full Metal Jacket. I’ve actually been called Pyle by some keen-eyed friends who noticed the uncanny resemblance.

Here we see Commodore Matt Decker, a Starfleet officer who was the commander of the USS Constellation. Decker had a bad day when he beamed his crew down to a planetoid (where he believed they would be safe) so he could go battle with an alien machine known only as “the planet killer” mano-a-mano. Oops. The USS Constellation barely survived the encounter and the planet killer ate the planet along with his crew.

For a long time I’ve felt that Matt Decker would be the perfect Halloween costume for me.

To the right please allow me to introduce Malakili. Do you recognize him? This good looking fellow didn’t exactly have the biggest part of all-time in the Star Wars franchise. He made he appearance in Return of the Jedi. Still can’t recognize him? He was a denizen of Jabba’s palace. It turns out the Jabba the Hutt had a trap door in his audience hall. Yes, the very same trap door that surprised Luke Skywalker himself. Below that door lived a beast known as the Rancor. The Rancor was a giant monster thing that had feasted on many victims until it faced Skywalker and lost. After the death of the Rancor we meet Malakili, the Rancor Keeper, and he gets his 10 seconds of screen time. It’s a touching scene as he mourns the loss of his beloved friend. Again the resemblance is uncanny and I’ve often thought this would also make a perfect Halloween costume for me.

If you can somehow morph these three characters together in your mind you should end up with a highly accurate approximation of my appearance. But why in the hell would you want that?

Other notable mentions…

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo – No further explanation needed, eh?

Finally, an actual photograph of yours truly, pixelated, of course: