Living the dream – nevermore
It was a dark and stormy night. My wife and I were going to bed. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
This is the true story of last night.
We were fluffing our pillows and on final approach for nitey nite. Then my wife did something that happened to irritate me. No, I don’t remember now what it was. That isn’t germane to this tale. But I do remember quite clearly what I said in response.
“Just for that I’m going to close my eyes and repeat the name ‘Jessica Alba’ over and over again as I drift off to sleep.”
Hey. Never once have I ever claimed to be mature! A little directed dreaming as a method of revenge. What can I say? That’s just the way I roll.
I’m still baffled by what happened next, but this actually seemed to irritate my wife. The next thing I heard was my wife gently and quietly repeating these words as I was falling asleep: “mom … your mother … Beatrice.”
She was trying to push Jessica Alba out of my dream. How rude.
This morning I woke up and realized that I did dream and I actually remember it. It went a little something like this:
I had gone back in time with Kirk and Spock. A terrible future was waiting for us and we had one chance to make things right. It was decided that I would be disguised as a Romulan and would sneak onto a Romulan ship. Meanwhile none of us were aware that Jean-Luc Picard was also planning a trip to the same moment in time, and was about to accidentally interfere with our plans. We were going to have to adapt quickly or it would be the end of the universe…
I’m not making this up. That was the actual dream. I must have woken up because that’s all I remember. I do remember thinking while I was dreaming, though, “I’d better remember this, because this shit is good. This will make an awesome movie!” Then I woke up and I have to admit, it all sounds a bit lame.
So I guess now we know what happens if you compromise between mom and Jessica Alba. Your mind doesn’t know how to cope so it settles on Star Trek as a defense mechanism.
Please enjoy the musical selection that our chef has paired with this article.
Survivor Nicaragua is about to buzz
Grab your buffs. It’s almost time, people!
Nitwit * Outcast * Outfray
Outfray??? Okay, I admit it. That’s lame as hell. Epic fail! The only other thing that came to mind was “Frito-Lay” and I thought that was even lamer. Sue me!
The 21st season of Survivor is scheduled to start sometime in September 2010. I don’t know the official date yet of the season premier, but my spidey sense is tingling and telling me that the official Survivor web site is going to be updated very soon unveiling this season’s cast members.
In breaking news from today, The Dallas Morning News has reported that former Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson will be a contestant. (Source.) Prediction: He won’t win. Johnson is currently a football analyst for FOX NFL Sunday. I wonder if FOX hat to put him on waivers so he could appear on an NFL show?
Season 21 of Survivor will reportedly also feature the return of the game-changing “Hidden Immunity Idol.” Jeff Probst has blogged, however, that they will be hidden differently than in previous seasons due to “The Russell Factor.”
Probst has reportedly already signed for seasons 22 of Survivor. The future of the series after that remains uncertain at this time.
For the first time since Survivor Borneo, the initial season of Survivor, the show will air on Wednesdays at 8pm.
Seasons 21 and 22 of Survivor will both reportedly be filmed in Nicaragua near San Juan del Sur. This no doubt will help reduce the costs of producing the show.
The top prize of $1 million still hasn’t been adjusted for inflation since the series originally premiered in the United States in 2000. That’s probably why I don’t even bother. 🙂