Daily Archives: July 7th, 2010

Google helps with important societal questions

Today’s happenstance discovery on Google is a good one. Ready for a science experiment, boys and girls? Let’s go!

For this experiment you will need:

* Computer
* Web browser
* Internet connection
* Rubber gloves

Fire up your favorite web browser and go to http://www.google.com. You need to be on the actual home page for this because you want Google’s “auto-complete” feature to be active.

In the search box type this:

can i

If you have followed the parameters of this experiment correctly, you’ll see that “can i get pregnant from a dog” is the #2 most popular suggestion in Google for the partially completed phrase “can i.”

Wow. Google really does help answer the important societal questions of the day. Now that I think about it, my public school education sucked. I mean, not once did my sexual education class ever cover the topic of human/dog interspecies impregnation issues. I knew they left some shit out! I knew it!

Just because I’m in an especially good mood, here is a bonus phrase. I’ll leave it up to you to discover where it leads. Remember to record your findings in your scientific journals now, students!

why does my

Can you find the secret societal phrase hidden in that list?

Good news for those having a bad day

Thanks for hanging on to that for us. We'll just be taking that back now.

Just when you thought your worries and troubles couldn’t get any worse, suddenly the Good News Fairy shows up to brighten your day.

You think you’ve got problems? Bill collectors calling all the time? Unable to see the dentist about your painful cavities? Need expensive medical tests but the answer is “no” because you have absolutely no medical insurance even though you work full time? Your job sucks and you see no way out?

Forget all that happy crappy! Don’t let a frowny cloud show up and rain on your day! There are people with much more serious problems out there.

South Koren pole vaulter Lim Eun-ji tested positive for a banned substance during an event in May and has been suspended for three months from competition. In June the 21-year-old Lim told a hearing that she didn’t “intentionally” take the banned substance.

ESPN: Lim suspended three months

Man oh man, am I glad I’m not in her shoes. Can you even imagine how horrible that must be for her?

Another athlete is also in the news. Lee Kyong-jae had just won a “gold medal” in May in the “men’s 5,000-meter event” and also tested positive for some banned stuff. He has been suspended two years and will have to return his gold medal.

So don’t feel too sorry for yourself. Your problems might seem bad but they are magnificently dwarfed by what brave athletes like these have to go through every single day for you and me. They are the standard bearers of the sum of our hopes and dreams.

If I can stop being so damn selfish and feeling sorry for myself I’m going to try to set aside some time every single day to remember and honor their shining examples. I know they appreciate their gifts and blessings way more than I could ever appreciate mine.