I may have already revealed that my first kiss was at church camp with a girl named Tex, but here is something I don’t think you know about me yet:
In 8th grade I wore Star Wars t-shirts every day for an entire year. Yup. Every day. Entire year. I had quite the wardrobe back then and I hope it isn’t too self-centered to say, it has only improved since then.
With my penchant for coming up with stupid t-shirts (you can find some on this blog) it suddenly hit me:
What if there was a way to combine two of my greatest loves – Star Wars and inappropriate t-shirts.
If you’ve seen what the “cool” kids are wearing on their shirts lately, you already know that freedom of speech has more than stomped the bound of good taste once and for all. The excellent sociology web site, PeopleOfWalMart.com, has documented many examples of this phenomenon.
My goal was a little scaled back from some of the trendsetters found there. Simply stated it is this: Take unaltered verbatim quotes (changing punctuation is okay) from Star Wars and reprint them on shirts and let people’s dirty minds do the rest.
I give you some of my ideas for a new line of inappropriate and/or negative Star Wars t-shirts:
- Look at the size of that thing!
- I don’t like you either.
- We seem to be made to suffer.
- Don’t everyone thank me at once.
- Obeys your commands.
- Let go your conscious self and act on instinct.
- Let’s blow this thing and go home.
- I don’t care what you smell.
- What an incredible smell you have discovered.
- Get on top of it!
- Here, hold this.
- Your powers are weak.
- Don’t get cocky.
- You’re my only hope.
- The approach will not be easy.
- Skim the surface to this point.
- The shaft leads directly to the reactor.
- I’m going in!
- Let me know when you’re going in.
- I have you now.
- I’m going to regret this.
- I’m ready for anything.
- Maybe you’d like it back in your cell.
- Sorry about the mess!
- He’s the brains, sweetheart!
- I can imagine quite a bit.
- I take orders from just one person: me.
- Give us a few minutes to lock it down.
- I know a few maneuvers.
- Here’s where the fun begins.
I guess this the part where you call me a geek and point and laugh.
I’m serious. This t-shirt idea could be a big thing! You could create your own characters, in addition to Hyppo and Critter.
Such a creative mind, Abyss!
Uh – this is a good idea. I can picture it with the still from the movie where that line is said. There again lies infringement but this could be good. I definitely see my brother being all over this. He is quite the Star Wars fan too (he kept the SW pillow case – it’s 20 years old).
How about a shirt with two death stars on the front.
Underneath it says-
Solo: “Those are too big to be space stations. Looks like a couple of small moons.”
Obiwan: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
Luke: “Not me!”
I think this is a brilliant idea! Find a way to get around the copywrite issue and I think you got a real winner.
Well, I didn’t really plan on actually doing it. That would take effort and stuff. 🙂
I don’t think there is that big of an issue. The plan is put the words on shirts that otherwise look like they have nothing to do with Star Wars. Maybe “Look at the size of that thing!” in plain black letters on a white shirt. Only geeks to the max (like me) would even get the reference. The rest of the folks would (hopefully) think, “How rude!” 🙂
Dude – Cafe Press, if not just for yourself. Genius.
“I take orders from just one person: me.”
I’m with you on leaving people to guess what it all means. I love the idea of people walking away scratching their heads! 😆
I’ve often thought of wearing an “I Want Ice Water” t-shirt just to sew chaos and confusion when I decide to go out. It occurs to me that three of your lines, “We seem to be made to suffer,” “Don’t everyone thank me at once,” and “Let’s blow this thing and go home” might work well in various combinations with my line! 🙄
I think that’s the funnest part. 🙂 Some people will grok it instantly, others won’t. One of my friends has unbelievably never even seen Star Wars!
One whole year, wow, that is dedication.
“Let me know when you’re going in.” Ha! Liking the innuendo in that one, but don’t think I would actually be able to wear it on my t-shirt.
You actually just made me smile. That means I’ve got about 30 seconds before the cops break down my door and put the straight-jacket on me. Nice knowing you!
That particular shirt idea was a favorite of mine and for obvious reasons. 🙂
I’m soooooooooooo pointing and laughing!
Shhhhh though: I’m a huge Sci-Fi fan too, so I totally understand and have…well, I can’t tell you because it would ruin the “image” I’ve perfected for you all. Suffice it to say, I’m a closeted geek and would have worn the same shirt to school of my fav Sci-Fi had I not gone to yukky uniform-wearing type of school! T-shirt idea is very cool!
You just moved up a notch. 🙂