I may have already revealed that my first kiss was at church camp with a girl named Tex, but here is something I don’t think you know about me yet:
In 8th grade I wore Star Wars t-shirts every day for an entire year. Yup. Every day. Entire year. I had quite the wardrobe back then and I hope it isn’t too self-centered to say, it has only improved since then.
With my penchant for coming up with stupid t-shirts (you can find some on this blog) it suddenly hit me:
What if there was a way to combine two of my greatest loves – Star Wars and inappropriate t-shirts.
If you’ve seen what the “cool” kids are wearing on their shirts lately, you already know that freedom of speech has more than stomped the bound of good taste once and for all. The excellent sociology web site, PeopleOfWalMart.com, has documented many examples of this phenomenon.
My goal was a little scaled back from some of the trendsetters found there. Simply stated it is this: Take unaltered verbatim quotes (changing punctuation is okay) from Star Wars and reprint them on shirts and let people’s dirty minds do the rest.
I give you some of my ideas for a new line of inappropriate and/or negative Star Wars t-shirts:
- Look at the size of that thing!
- I don’t like you either.
- We seem to be made to suffer.
- Don’t everyone thank me at once.
- Obeys your commands.
- Let go your conscious self and act on instinct.
- Let’s blow this thing and go home.
- I don’t care what you smell.
- What an incredible smell you have discovered.
- Get on top of it!
- Here, hold this.
- Your powers are weak.
- Don’t get cocky.
- You’re my only hope.
- The approach will not be easy.
- Skim the surface to this point.
- The shaft leads directly to the reactor.
- I’m going in!
- Let me know when you’re going in.
- I have you now.
- I’m going to regret this.
- I’m ready for anything.
- Maybe you’d like it back in your cell.
- Sorry about the mess!
- He’s the brains, sweetheart!
- I can imagine quite a bit.
- I take orders from just one person: me.
- Give us a few minutes to lock it down.
- I know a few maneuvers.
- Here’s where the fun begins.
I guess this the part where you call me a geek and point and laugh.