The Kite Stander

Whoa. They had cool looking “ring kites” like that over 100 years ago but the standard kite of today looks like something Charlie Brown would attempt to fly. I gotta build me some ring kite.

Anyway, the point of today’s story is rudeness. I was driving home from work today. In fact, it was doing in my car as I am often wont to do. And, going completely nuts, I was doing it on a paved surface that I like to call a “street.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it. It’s a place where cars go and stuff.

I turned into our little residential area and headed towards my street. In the intersection where I needed to in order to reach my house were three things: an older male (who I’m going to call “dad”), a younger male (who I’m going to call “son”) and a stringed object that normally flies in the air (that I’m going to call “motherfucker”).

This particular intersection was your standard four-way vortex. At one corner stood the dad. At the other corner stood the son. Traversing the entire distance between them was the motherfucker laying on the ground.

Today we had a little wind storm. In fact it knocked a few things around town, took out the power at my house and wreaked various other forms of havoc. Even with this robust wind, these two obliviots couldn’t seem to make the thing fly.

Also curious was their choice of location. They chose and intersection in the street. Not the dead end street nearby nor the empty field. No, for them, only an intersection would suffice.

Since a young person was involved I approached cautiously then slowed to a stop at a safe distance. They reluctantly took note of my existence. They proceeded to gather up the kite, presumably to allow me to pass.

That’s when something peculiar happened.

They stretched the motherfucker out and launched it into the air. Apparently their philosophy is something along the lines of, “Let that driver be damned. We’re not going to let him impact our fun.”

Their selfishness not withstanding, they still lacked the required mental reasoning required to get that thing to fly. Motherfucker crashed hard into the asphalt with satisfying velocity.

I was stunned, literally stunned, that they attempted to fly the thing again while I sat there waiting. What a society of fucks we have become! I just read a story yesterday where someone lamented the death of “please” and “thank you.” Fuck that! How about one iota of consideration for anything that happens in the world beyond our own friggin’ noses?

We have got to be the ultimate me-based society of all time. Our motto as a society is simple: I will do whatever I want. There are no rules. No laws. No manners. No mores. No nothing. Fuck all that! The only thing that matters is me and what I want.

  • I don’t want to walk 20′ extra feet to get to the ATM. Therefore I park in the fire lane.
  • I don’t want to wait to cross the street. Therefore I walk out into moving traffic.
  • I don’t want to take the time to see who is behind me. Therefore I allow the heavy door to slam shut on the young woman and her infant directly behind me.
  • I don’t want to wait five seconds for traffic to be clear. Therefore I pull out in front of a car and make them slam on their brakes to avoid hitting me.

And so on and so on. Round and round it goes – where it stops nobody knows.

Dad and son proceeded to pick up the kite. I inched forward to make clear my intention to run them over if they attempted another launch. They got the message and reluctantly moved aside, shuffling along dejectedly and looking as if I’d shot their dog. All I wanted from them was the courtesy to share the planet with another human being.

Sadly for too many of us these days that is becoming something that is way too much to ask.

13 responses

  1. Wow, there sure are a lot of jerks up in your neck of the woods. (Including your post on D for Dick) Now where is this awful place so I can avoid it??? Actually, we’ve got plenty of the same here, sadly.


    1. I’m pretty sure we’re neighbors. I call it “Earth.” 🙂


  2. Wow, I agree with Catherine – it does sound like you have more than your fair share of ‘not nice people’ – I’m so sorry you seem to keep bumping into all of them. 😦


    1. Sadly they aren’t that hard to find. The “me first at all costs” people are way too prevalent these days.

      It might be that other more well-adjusted people just don’t notice them as much and let the encounters roll off their backs. Then they don’t have to whine as much as me. 🙂


  3. Hey, I think I teach the children of these jerks! The fruit doesn’t fall far… A teacher friend on facebook just posted, “After nine years of teaching, I’m running out of ways to politely say, your kid is a brat and it’s kinda your fault.”


    1. I agree that is a big part of it.

      Every generation seems to look at their youngsters and say, “Things seem to be getting worse. This bunch just doesn’t get it.” Is that really true or is it merely the skewed musings of those who used to have the shoe on the other foot?

      Methinks the effects of parents is limited these days and the cumulative effects of the outside influences are becoming paramount. It is hard to fight against a full on cultural onslaught. And psychologists today seem to be saying that peers have way more influence parents.


  4. My husband gets so pissed when an able-bodied customer rolls up and parks in the handicapped spot. People should be grateful that they can walk and park two spaces over.
    Even at my job, which is supposed to be a professional office, people trash the break room and leave bowls half-full of food in the sink. It’s disgusting and rude. Unfortunately, people like us were raised correctly and are doomed to be shocked and inconvenienced by rude people. If only we were raised by hyenas like everyone else seems to have been then we wouldn’t be bothered by their behavior.


    1. Taking a handicap spot you don’t deserve is extreme douchebaggery at its finest. When my boss’s wife hurt her knee she applied for a temporary handicap permit. When my boss drove that same car, however, and she wasn’t there, he’d still park in the handicap spots. He was emboldened and had a way to support his douche nozzle habit.

      The office antics used to surprise me. You’d think people would at least attempt to maintain a veneer with other humans in such close quarters. When the chips are down I guess that just isn’t compelling enough to pretend to be a nice person.


  5. I have had it up to *here* with all the douchebags walking the planet. Last night our crazy neighbor was sitting in his hot tub and decided to flip off my husband for no particular reason. That was just a little while after he was leaning on his fence, looking into our yard and trying to stare down Brian. I wish all these losers would get a life. Or at least a clue.


    1. I had a neighbor like that. He’d flip off my step-mom when she was in the front yard and yell the C-word at her. He’d also take poop from my kitten that he found in his yard and fling it so it stuck to the side of our house. Good times, good times. 🙂


  6. Somewhere, on a kite blog, a man writes of a driver who ruined a moment with a son. He is kind of a dumb ass, but he writes it anyhow.


    1. I’ll bet. I’d call that a sadly skewed perspective! Now if I could just find that blog I’d have myself a new wonderful hobby…


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