Daily Archives: May 27th, 2010

Today’s small WordPress suggestion

We bloggers should help each other as much as we can. I’m sure we already do, but why not make it more fun and self-serving?

When I see a typo on someone’s blog I usually try to drop them a friendly note and let them know. I always hope they appreciate the opportunity to improve their blog. I know I do!

Today, Teri’s Blip in the Universe returned the favor and helped me with a typo on my site. I was very grateful!

As I went to edit the typo, I had an idea. Wikipedia lets you document the reason for edits. It would be great if WordPress offered a light version of that with a space to link to the blog that helped with proofreading. I think that would be super keen and neat-o.

I admit this isn’t a very earth-shattering idea but it would be a nice and fun way to recognize one of the ways we help each other out.

Thaks four teh hep, Teri!

Association out of sync

What do you mean I'm blurry and out of sync?

The dawn of the 21st century was the dawn of a new era. We had it all – or so we thought.

First, it was the 21st century. If that doesn’t sound ultra modern and bitchin’ then I don’t know what does.

Then we had the computer, improving life for us all. Some didn’t even require hourly rebooting. Our technological leaps were truly impressive.

Lastly, we had the internet, the magical conduit to all things possible.

There, at the apex of our society, came YouTube, at long last bringing audio out of sync with video to the masses. At last we had it all. At last we had achieved true greatness.

Never before in the history of civilization had the entertainment value of out-of-sync audio been made available to so many. Advanced nations around the world had finally achieved the dream and we able to relax and enjoy the good life, one filled with blurry and confusing sound and images. And it was YouTube that made it all possible.

Some took the easy way out and compensated for the effect with drugs, which they said made the videos watchable again. But most chose to confront reality head on, grapple with it, and eventually fail.

In their memory I offer this rousing clip:

Late night music break

Ever sit alone at night, all by yourself, and drink too much? When you do, shit like this is funny as hell! I’ve heard this song a million times and it still just made me laugh out loud. Enjoy! (Tequila optional but recommended.)

Salubrious Basterds

Salubrious Plague Chaser

Note: This post satisfies the legal requirements of my earlier post entitled “Blog improv.” That’s where I asked for some random words. I will now use those words in this post. The random words, in addition to “Salubrious” which is used in the subject line, will be highlighted when they are used. Enjoy! –Abyss

The doctor will fee you now!

Is your doctor all that and a bag of chips? Is your doctor the cat’s meow?

I don’t know. You tell me. How do you feel about someone who says, “Sure, I’ll help you with something important like your health.” You know, that life and death stuff. Almost as important as a new episode of Jersey Shore. “But I’ll only do it for something akin to every penny you make for the next twenty years. Deal?”

Wow. That’s just awesome! And to think I’m such a friggin’ idiot – I do nice things for people every day and I don’t even charge. Woe is me, how dumb I’ve been. If you catch me at home sticking my head in my Easy-Bake Oven, please don’t try to stop me!

I get it. You are an important human being, Doctor. Me? I’m a steaming pile of poop. That’s why I have to schedule my whole life around my visit to see you, wait in your disgusting little room full of sick people, and pay over $100 for 10 minutes of quality time where you’ll barely pay attention to me and rush me away as fast as humanly possible.

The other day my wife was feeling rather forlorn because she was in some rather extreme pain. There was a red bump behind her ear and some painful redness that seemed to go up to the tip of her ear. At first we assumed it was a pimple or a bug bite.

The next day, though, her ear was still in a pickle, so she did something we don’t often do. She took herself in to see the doctor. Good thing, too. I turned out to be neither of the problems we suspected. It was some kind of infection of the bone behind the ear and is fairly serious if left untreated. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics.

My wife complained about the severe pain, which seems to be close to debilitating, but the doctor refused to prescribe her anything for it. Apparently he has his own moral standards about prescribing the dreaded “narcotics” that might take away my wife’s pain until the antibiotics could kick down the infection.

I understand that the health care system is so discombobulated that doctors now live in fear of writing prescriptions for pain meds. Some people visit 10 different doctors a month, get 10 prescriptions for pain meds, and get those prescriptions filled at 10 different pharmacies to remain under the grid and avoid detection. I get that.

On the other hand, however, my doctor can easily verify that he sees us like once every few years and that we haven’t had any prescriptions from him during that same time. If we’re addicted to pain meds we sure have a damn clever way of hiding it!

So the basterd listened to my wife complain about her pain and decided, “Nah. You can live with it. My salubrious standards are more important than your suffering. You are depressed. I’m glad you came to see me to get this off your chest. Come back and see me later. Next patient, please. Send in another victim of industrial disease!

I thought doctors took the Hippocratic oath which says, “Do no harm.”

“Ah,” says the doctor. “There’s your problem, old chap. I’m not the one doing the harm. You can blame the funky ear bone widget thing for that. I’m just the one refusing to treat the pain caused by what is doing the harm. See the distinction? They taught me that in medical school – in addition to billing systems, of course. Also sailing, golfing, and hiding assets offshore.”

Are doctors simply in charge of thinning the herd? Or are they actually supposed to help the people that come to them in pain?

I admit. I simply don’t get it.