I like music a lot. I listen to music almost every day and usually in a variety of ways. Pandora, stuff ripped to my hard drive, CDs, etc. More often than not I experience music as a “totality” experience. Lyrics are usually not the primary thing that makes me like a song. Sometimes lyrics get in the way and sometimes I like a song in spite of the lyrics.

Today’s post is a long-distance dedication sent out to those songs where the lyrics have failed to move me. For some strange reason there are a lot of songs where the lyrics don’t resonate, where the meaning failed to relate to me, my life and my existence.

Let’s explore some, shall we?

Paparazzi – Lady Gaga

I’m your biggest fan
I’ll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there’s no other superstar
You know that I’ll be your-
Papa-Paparazzi

Missed it by that much. Not quite a problem that I ever have to poker face. Now if the song was called “Your Face Broke My Camera Lens” then you’d be on to something. Trust me. No one ever wants to take my picture. Thanks for rubbing it in!

Tik Tok – Ke$ha

Wake up in the mornin’ feelin’ like P- Diddy (Hey what’s up girl)
Grab ma glasses I’m out the door I’m gonna hit the city (Let’s go)
Before I leave brush ma teeth with a bottle of Jack
‘Cuz when I leave for the night I ain’t comin back

A dollar sign in your name? You must be quite shy because that’s quite a fashion statement.

I admit I don’t know what P. Diddy feels like. Does that mean you want a gun before you eat breakfast? And I never brush my teeth with whiskey before noon. It’s bad form. To me “hit the city” means driving downtown for cat food. Somehow I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about.

Lucky – Britney Spears

Early morning, she wakes up
Knock, knock, knock on the door
It’s time for makeup, perfect smile
It’s you they’re all waiting for

Ah, sarcasm. I get it. She’s saying she isn’t “lucky” at all. Well boohoo. Someone dial 9-1-1 for the whaaaambulance.

I Gotta Feelin’ – Black Eyed Peas

I gotta feeling (oooooo hoooo) that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night

This cryptic reference is challenging. “Good night.” What could that possibility mean? No doubt it involves prodigious amounts of alcohol, getting falling-down drunk and jiggling around like idiots to Black  Eyed Peas tunes for an extended period of time.

Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus

I hopped off the plane at L.A.X.
With a dream and my cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame excess,
Am I gonna fit in?

I am so jealous! You’re in an airplane and you get to land at L.A.X. Could anything be cooler than that? Probably not the cardigan. Aren’t those a little warm for So Cal? And you want to fit in with “fame excess?” Seriously? Sounds like an ultimate follower to me.

I Don’t Wanna Be Me – Type O Negative

Two steps forward, three steps back
Without warning, heart attack
He fell asleep in the snow
Never woke up, died alone

Please don’t dress in black
When you’re at his wake
Don’t go there to mourn
But to celebrate

I don’t wanna be me anymore
I don’t wanna be me anymore

Yeah, baby! That’s the sweet spot. Now we’re talking…