Daily Archives: May 17th, 2010

Good news with a twist of gerbil WTF

When gerbils do it like mammals on the Discovery Channel

Be advised that the gerbil posts may now start coming like The Fast and Spurious. The fur is starting to fly.

This is a post about a guest gerbil I’ve written about in the past. For simplicity’s sake I’m going to issue him a code name. He will henceforth be known as Pooch.

What can I tell you about Pooch? Well, first and foremost he was featured in a previous post on this blog entitled “Gerbil rampage” back in February. That post featured Pooch dumping on his mother and when confronted, his only defense was, “It’s your fault. You didn’t raise me right.”

Yeah. Pooch is one classy dude.

So here’s what we know. Pooch has been categorized by our GRIPE scientists as Class A gerbil. He is 24-years old and still lives with his parents. (Our own gerbil frequently featured on this blog is a long time friend of Pooch’s younger brother. Together the three of them, our son, the friend, and the friend’s older brother Pooch form the Holy Gerbil Trinity on this blog.)

In one respect Pooch is solidly outside the normal gerbil curve – he actually graduated from high school. Even so, in most other respects he is a textbook study of gerbil behavior. He previously dated and like most gerbils found birth control extremely unpalatable. Pooch went to great lengths to avoid it while engaging in sexual behavior as much as possible. The young lady in question, girlfriend #1, thought she couldn’t get pregnant. That belief was proven to be false and Pooch and her became parents. She didn’t want much to do with the child so the grandmother became the default caregiver. Pooch, of course, also had little time for the child, even though he is unemployed and has nothing else of importance going on in his life.

Neither parent does much for the kid so the grandmother has assumed the bulk of the child rearing responsibilities.

Another distinguishing trait of Pooch is his love of marijuana. He has been caught growing plants under his parent’s garage. A major reason that Pooch is currently unemployed is due to a series of brief jobs where he was fired for testing positive for pot. Additionally his younger brother has also been featured in this blog. He recently obtained a medical marijuana card and become the inspiration for an ongoing series in my Hyppo and Critter comic strip.

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