Are you a real American?

Westboro Baptist Church

Some so-called "real" Americans from the Westboro Baptist Church

Are you a “real” American? Or, perchance, are you the fake kind, like me?

I received a piece of shit snotty email from a customer of mine. For some strange fucked-up reason, I often get inside of customer’s email address books. They then send me all sorts of crap. This one said a bunch of horrible stuff about Obama and then posed the brilliant question of the day:  “How many real Americans will you send this on to?” (My emphasis added.)

There sure are some warped motherfuckers out there. And it is a little awkward when they are your customer. Should I reply and tell this douchebag where to go?

The point isn’t so much that what he forwarded me was super-crappy. The point is that he doesn’t know me or my beliefs from a hill of beans so I don’t want him sending me his mental masturbations.

How often do you write (or forward) highly inflammatory stuff to people you don’t really know? Doesn’t matter who, right? More names on the list is better than less. The bigger the better. Now gimme my super-sized biggie drink with the double Quarter Pounder and the super-sized fries.

By the way, some kind soul wrote back to the motherfucker like this and graciously included everyone on the original distribution list:

Mr. XYZ: I write you this e-mail from Nangarhar province, Afghanistan. Please take me off your mailing list ASAP. I find your political commentary offensive. If you didn’t have health care or if you were struggling to afford it, you might have a different opinion. I am one of the millions of Americans that has seen his health care premiums increase three-fold in the last eight years, and no, tort reform has not worked in Colorado or any of the other states in which it has been tried. The new law is good for America; the status quo was not. Obama was giving you the finger. And I am giving you the finger.


Please find below the musical pairing that has been selected for this post.

15 responses

  1. That’s hysterical!

    On a business side note though — this has happened to me more than once, getting stupid SPAM emails from customers/clients and the way I’ve handled it is to politely tell them that this is your company/business email address and you’d prefer if they sent you any “fun” or “personal” emails to my other email account as this email is read by my assistants and other persons who assist me in keeping my customers happy.

    Then I send I give them the correct email address: fuckyouI’

    Okay, maybe I don’t give them THAT actual email address — but you get my point. I give them another email address I don’t use — if only to check out porn sites and crap like that..

    (again, I hope Roger isn’t reading this — Hee! Hee!).



    1. HA!

      Wait a minute………that’s the email address you gave me……….does that mean it’s not your real email??


  2. Is that photo from the Fred Phelps group? 😦


    1. Yes. In my mind that photo illustrates the kind of folks who run around asking if other people are “real” Americans.

      I don’t have to agree with my neighbor to be a “real” American, dammit, and I resent people running around and deciding who is “real” and who is not.


    2. This is an interesting look at the health care reform bill. Be sure to watch the video.


      1. Which video? The Frontline thing about health care around the world?


      2. When you click on the link, it will take you to Marcia Angell’s profile. Under her photo, it says Watch the Video. She’s for single-payer and says this bill, which hadn’t been passed when she was interviewed, will fall apart because it’s so bad and make the situation worse.


  3. Thanks. I found it! And woot, it’s not 48 minutes long. 🙂


  4. I can’t imagine sending something like that to a customer, or someone who’s a customer of mine. Some people just have no sense of business etiquette I guess. The response was great though!


  5. Thanks, Just Me! To me it was simply poor manners or to put it my favorite way, “bad form.” One thing seems clear: Our manners and etiquette seems to have changed over time and, I think, not for the better. We’re all so certain of our convictions that we don’t think twice about attempting to shove them down the throats of people we don’t even know. Of course, some might say that’s pretty much the definition of what I do here on the blog! 🙂


  6. I can think of few things that I’d consider more offensive than those signs. I’m about as non-violent as they come, but there are extremists of the gun-wielding variety that aren’t nearly as tolerant as I am.


  7. I agree that one should not mix business with politics, or pleasure for that matter. But for a different perspective:

    Or, if you prefer, just delete this comment.


    1. I don’t delete intelligent comments. Your blog looks interesting. I look forward to reading it when I have some more time on my hands. Just a guess but I’m betting we won’t see eye to eye on some things. 🙂

      Thanks for the comment!


      1. That is a distinct possibility. Though I notice you had commented nicely before on my Shallowest Generation piece (regarding the Oscars, etc.)
        That said, politics is a topic unto itself.


  8. What a great response!


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