Nike shows love for Tiger Woods

Here we see Tiger desperately trying to keep Mr. Winky in his pants. Epic fail.

You have to give it up for Nike. I think they must be the biggest corporate supporter of Tiger Woods. Other companies may have took the high road of morality and common sense, but Nike’s lust for money seems equal to Tiger’s lust for slutty tail. “Just Do It” apparently has nothing to do with morals.

Nike even recently released a new commercial starting Tiger Woods. It is in black and white and features Tiger, apparently on the verge of tears, staring into the camera while a voice over of his dead father’s voice goes on about things like “I want to find out what your thinking was” and “Did you learn anything?” Wow. Earl Woods died in 2006 but Nike feels this is a way to promote their brand and support for Tiger?

Creepy. Just like Nike’s continued support of Tiger.

In my mind, the big question of the day is why does Nike continue to embrace the values of Tiger Woods? I can only think of two possible answers. First, they share those values. And secondly, Tiger Woods makes them money. For corporations like Nike, money trumps morality. It’s not called the “bottom line” for nothing.

I went to and took a quick look around. A search of their site for “Tiger Woods” reveals 39 products. Ah. That represents a substantial investment in a brand and that investment must be supported at all costs. The products range from shirts (you too can look like Tiger while you hit a little ball with a stick) to pants and shorts to umbrellas to belts (good for choking women?) to baseball caps to hat clip and ball markers and yes, even shoes.

Nike released a statement about their newest Woods commercial:

We support Tiger and his family. As he returns to competitive golf, the ad addresses his time away from the game using the powerful words of his father.

Supporting Tiger we already know only too well. But his “family?” Jeez, Nike, you’ve got balls. Tiger’s cheating potentially risked the life of his wife who could have been exposed to deadly diseases picked up during his sexploits. For that alone I personally think Tiger should be charged with a crime. I bet Tiger’s wife feels quite happy to learn that Nike “supports” her, too.

Nike does not support my values. I will not just do it. I will not support Nike in any way, shape, or form. And that goes also for Tiger. Apparently he’s back out hitting a little ball with a stick. How unciting.

9 responses

  1. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Pulitzer Prize Winner for Photographic Captioning, the talented Mr. Abyss.


    1. LOLZ! And I got that photo from the White House. Obama has been cropped out for good form. 🙂


  2. unabridgedgirl | Reply

    Other companies may have took the high road of morality and common sense, but Nike’s lust for money seems equal to Tiger’s lust for slutty tail. “Just Do It”


    Tiger is so pathetic. Nike is even more pathetic.


  3. Perhaps Tiger and Nike are pathetic. But, when you say Nike “makes money” off of Tiger what exactly do you mean? Do you mean that thousands of “people” buy products from Nike because of Tiger? Tiger is a product of our society. Nike’s income is a product of our society. Why does everyone want to transfer the blame for our pathetic society onto corporations and the rich and famous? Giant corporations and the rich and famous are direct products of the desires of our culture. Perhaps it would do the average guy some good to walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. He may then discover the root of all his problems.


    1. Ooh, goodie! Thanks for the comment!

      Are these trick questions? 🙂

      I think it’s simpler than that. If a corporation operates by tossing babies into a wood chipper and I do not approve of that activity, I can vote with my wallet and not give them my business. That’s my right no matter how average I am.

      I’m not saying Nike is bad because they are a corporation or they make money. I’m saying that Nike’s support of Tiger Woods does not align with my values. Some of Nike’s business practices also don’t align with my values. Their continued support of Woods is just a bit of extra incentive to remind me that I choose to avoid their products.

      Nike sponsors and supports the “brand” of Tiger Woods. I don’t think for one red second this is anything other than an economic decision. Privately they might even curse his name. But they won’t kill that goose until they are sure it is done pumping out the golden eggs. They believe that continued support of Tiger will line their pockets with silver. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. That’s their choice. If they are right they’ll get paid. If they are wrong they won’t.

      Yes, our society is pathetic. We are a society of assholes. I plan to write a book with that name. But individuals have choices. Tiger told a woman he would be faithful to her and he broke that promise. I think that’s shitty so he loses my support. That’s personally not something I would ever choose to do.

      As far as the mirror is concerned, I try really hard to never look at that super fuck. But if I do, I usually just spit at him, and that only leaves me a mess I have to clean. It is not a very fruitful exercise. 🙂


  4. /shout type rant begins/

    Given your response you should have some pride when looking in the mirror. At least you stand up for your values. You don’t approve of what Tiger and Nike are doing so you refuse to support them. Nice. You can feel good about yourself and I can say, “wow, I know that guy and he’s a great guy!”. Unfortunately there are millions of other people out there that are essentially apathetic and don’t really care what Tiger and Nike are doing or have done. Some may say they don’t like it but if you offer them a free Nike hat they’ll certainly take it.

    So where does that leave us? Those of us who are wiling to sacrifice a little in order to uphold our values?

    Fucked! That’s where it leaves us. I upheld the conservative value of watching my finances and not over extending myself by using my home as an ATM machine. What did that get me? Fucked!!

    I’m now paying through my tax dollars for every piece of shit neighbor of mine that refi’d their house five fucking times over the last five years and pulled out a quarter million dollars and spent it all on vacations and Veblen goods which they then flaunted in front of me. I thought at the time that they would get theirs sooner or later. Karma ya know!

    Nope. Karma has come back to me in the form of a wood baseball bat up the ass with no lube. So much for Buddhism. The neighbors just quit paying on the home that they couldn’t afford anyway and have kept all their toys – Escalade, Mercedes, boat etc. They have been living in the house for almost a year without paying anything and they’re still buying junk. Cake and eating it too. Every politician out there is trying to help them out of their “unfortunate circumstance” by giving them my money so they can get back to eating more cake.

    The reality is that anyone who refuses to watch Tiger play is just going to miss out on a lot of good golf. Tiger will continue on and most people will buy his Nike line of stuff and they will all make millions. The principled guy will miss out on something he likes and will be in no better position than before. Except that when he looks in the mirror he will like what he sees. Of course if he stands up for every principal it’s likely he will have a hell of a lot of time to look in the mirror. Besides, if he really hates the way his employer operates he should quit right?

    /Shout type rant is now over/ : )


    1. Brilliant! This should have been a guest post! It could have given my blog the credibility it lacks. I could have been somebody!

      “Should I quit my job?” is certainly the pink elephant in the room every time I blog about my knee pads … erm, I mean, my job. You nailed that one. It’s hard to get shit past you. I know that. I acknowledge that I made my choices and it was those choices that led me to my current situation. Therefore, it is only logical to assume that I’m exactly where I want to be. Right?

      I can’t deny that. I wanted to live in this state. I moved to a small economically-depressed area where the largest segment of our economy is servicing elderly retirees who like to move here. If I was to pursue a career in changing adult diapers I could be making more money tomorrow. In that respect, I guess my fate is in my own hands.


      1. The term “servicing elderly retirees” brings images to my mind that I don’t want in my mind. But, I suppose some elderly retirees would pay quite a bit to be serviced. : )


      2. Here in the abyss, “servicing” is a blogging super-word due to its versatility and power. I use it prodigiously.


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