Quoth the Tiger, “Nevermore!”

Thank you for standing by me, Nike!

We pause today for a reading from the Book of Tiger:

“God girl. You better want to take care of me… I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you… Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore… Hold you down while I choke you.”

The above is a portion of text messages that are allegedly attributed to Tiger Woods and released by Joslyn James, one of his mistresses. (As reported by The New York Post.)

I apologize for dirtying and cheapening your computer screen. That’s my job.

By the way, the subject line is a reference to a little known literary masterpiece by E.A. Ho:

“Horny, firm, and salacious Tiger, wandering from his Nightly whore,– Tell me what thy wifely name is on the marital shore! Quoth the Tiger “Nevermore!”

This has been a reading from the Book of Tiger. Now go take on the day!