I’m all a quiver. I wasn’t going to post about Tiger again but the shit just reached critical mass. Again. Yes, it can happen just that fast. 🙂
Suspicions Regarding Performance Enhancing Drugs
Tiger apologized. Some think he might have to apologize again. No, not for women. This time there is speculation that Tiger may have used performance enhancing drugs.
Tiger Woods might have more to apologize for
The gist of this piece is that a doctor who helped Woods with his knee surgery in 2008 has come under suspicion of possession of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs).
The doctor, Anthony Galea, is based in Canada. His assistant, Mary Anne Catalone, was stopped at the U.S. – Canadian border with vials of human growth hormone in her car. Catalone told authorities she was transporting the vials per the directions of her boss. Catalone also told investigators that her boss has administered PEDs to professional athletes. Galea’s client list includes athletes like “Olympians Dara Torres and Donovan Bailey, football players Chris Simms and Jamal Lewis, New York Mets shortstop Jose Reyes — and Woods.”
Woods, of course, denies any wrongdoing, and said that Galea provided something called “platelet-rich plasma therapy.” I’m trying to remain open-minded and not call a premature BULLSHIAT based merely on the name of that treatment.
The treatment consists of the the process of taking a vial of approx. 30 milliliters of blood, spinning it in a centrifuge, which will “separate the platelet-rich plasma from the other components. Then they inject the concentrated platelets at the site of the patient’s injury. In theory, the growth factors that platelets secrete (not including human growth hormone) spur tissue recovery.”
I get the feeling that by including the words “platelets” and “centrifuge” and “secrete” they think we’ll fall for the explanation of this treatment. Sorry, I still suspect BULLSHIAT.
There’s A CrApp For That
In other news, my lovely wife found this story. Time Magazine reports about a new iPhone “app” that was released on Feb. 25th called TigerText. The app is designed to expire your content after it has been read after a certain period of time. This is useful in all sorts of situations, like preventing your wife from discovering residual texts leftover from sexting messages with your mistresses.
“It works like this: when, say, a prominent politician sends his mistress an iPhone message via TigerText, the mistress will be prompted to install the app. When she has done so, she can read the message, but she can’t keep it. In fact, the message is never actually sent to her phone; it’s stored on TigerText’s servers. After the politician’s specified time span has elapsed — anywhere from one minute to five days — the message ceases to exist. There’s even a “delete on read” setting, which counts down from 60 after a message is opened and erases its text at zero.”
I guess it pays to know the apps on your spouse’s iPhone. Personally I’d say the mere presence of TigerChat should be immediate grounds for divorce.
It's in the hole!
Potent Quotables
I would like to close this post with a Tiger quotation from the first story. Please enjoy.
I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself the normal rules didn’t apply.
–Tiger Woods
Shouts from the Abyss 
[…] Tiger Beat « Shouts from the Abyss […]
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Okay, first I have to ask, did you do something to your blog? The last few days when I log on, after it loads, the words get all grayed out and blurry and hard to read – only happens here..
The other thing is.. I may not be in the popular camp here, BUT…
I don’t think that Tiger owes the world an apology for cheating on his wife. I think he owes his wife an apology. He’s a golfer. He’s not in a position where he is teaching children of the world how to be moral. His job is to golf, and that’s what he does. Yes I think he’s a jerk for cheating on his wife, but I think it’s a personal issue between him and her.. the women he cheated with all knew he was married, so I don’t even know how much of an apology he owes them. Ok, maybe a small one..
I guess my point is, I don’t think what he did was right, but who am I to judge him? I’m far from perfect. And he didn’t do anything to ME. Now his wife, that’s a different story. I don’t think he should have had to make a public apology about a private matter… I don’t see how being a cheater and being a professional golfer have anything to do with one another…
Just my opinion though…
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I love that you challenge my ideas on here. Just because I pontificate about something doesn’t make me right. 🙂 The fact that I’m about to prattle on more about this should not be taken as rebuttal. I respect your opinion on this very much!
I happen to have a thing about honesty. And integrity. I think we have precious little of both in our culture. From people buying fake diplomas, lying on their resumes, cheating on their taxes, athletes taking performance enhancing drugs, business faking what is true in the advertisements, etc. Our whole world is based on “lie, cheat and steal.” You might say it is my pet peeve. It doesn’t sit well with me when cheaters are given gold nuggets and hard-working honest people of uncommon integrity are given poop. There’s something not right about that.
Tiger was born with the right combination of ingredients that gave him the potential to become great at a game that involves whacking a little ball with a stick. Our society, for some crazy reason, then came along and said: You do well with that ball whacking and we’ll reward you with more than the vast majority of humans could ever hope to achieve in their entire lifetimes.
“Only one rule, though,” society said. “Don’t eat the fruit of this particular tree here.”
“Oh, I won’t,” Tiger promised. “You can trust me.”
And so it was that society kept its word. Tiger was given all the premium gifts this life had to offer. Fine houses and automobiles. A beautiful family. Celebrity and fame. He was adored and looked up to by those around him. He had lots of money and expensive things. There was no need or desire that went unfulfilled.
At some point, though, Tiger began to believe he was special. The rules don’t apply to me, he thought. So he began to crave that forbidden fruit, the one thing he was denied in exchange for everything else, all the gifts he enjoyed. “I’m the great Tiger Woods, goddammit. If I want the forbidden fruit then it will be mine. Nothing can stop me.”
And so it came to pass that Tiger went to the tree, purloined a piece of the fruit and enjoyed it. It was good. But even that wasn’t enough. He had to have all the fruit. He had to sit and gorge on it. He appetite had grown enormous and could not be sated. Only at the end did he realize his mistake, but by then it was too late. Humpty Dumpty couldn’t be put back together again.
It didn’t matter anymore what was right or what was wrong. Was it any of our business or not? I submit that is irrelevant. Once released from Pandora’s Box there was no way to get it back inside. All we are left with is the reality of now. It is what it is.
And if it turns out that Tiger cheated at golf by taking performance enhancing drugs, then all of the above becomes that much more urgent and pertinent. In my opinion.
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Well, I’m not just a yes man. 🙂
I thought it was really strange that you used so many bible references to describe this….atheist, remember? lol – Just giving you a hard time, but it did stand out to me..
Ok, I’m with you, that what he did was immoral and wrong, and I don’t think it was okay either, I really don’t. I just don’t think it’s any of my business. If that makes sense. I know, he’s in the public eye, so automatically we all get the right to have opinions and stuff.. but… I just don’t agree that he owed anyone but his family an apology..
Not sure about the performance enhancing stuff, but if the description above is what happened, then that’s not drugs. I admit that I don’t know enough about this part of the story to make an informed comment though…
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I hear ya, I hear ya.
I just feel like he was offered the brass ring, and the story of forbidden fruit seemed apropos. He had more than most people could ever even dream of, yet he had to go and upset the applecart. Ooops. How’d an apple get in there again? 🙂
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Gag.
Tiger Woods. Just. Gag.
Love the first picture, btw. And loved this post.
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Thanks and thanks. Showing off my mad photoshop skillz again. :p
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Thanks for keeping me in the loop. I had no idea that now drugs were in the mix of his weaknesses. Pooh. Another hero bites the dust!
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I must stress that it’s only “suspicions” at this point.
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Performance-enhancing drugs for GOLFERS? Really?
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Wha? Huh? Where did you get that idea? I was talking about his use of PEDs in the bedroom. 🙂
I keed. I keed.
Seriously, though. Here’s a Google search to help get you started! 🙂
Google: performance enhancing drugs for golfers
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I think this search result is my favorite: http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=575541&topic=53571862
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LOL!
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