Daily Archives: February 20th, 2010

Lago my pig-o

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The amount of training and determination and effort it takes to win Olympic gold can be legendary. Michael Phelps reportedly swam 36 hours a day every day for 27 years to reach Olympic greatness at the summer games just two years ago. After that much effort you’d think these athletes would have mastered the art of self-discipline. Surprisingly some haven’t.

Scotty Lago won bronze in the Vancouver winter games in the men’s “half-pipe” competition. (Biting my tongue here, so many obvious ways to go on this one. Must restrain myself and go for the classy subtle humor. Must try to avoid the easy way out with obvious half-pipe humor.)

After the win, WMUR Channel 9 summed it up nicely when they said Lago’s home town of Seabrook, New Hampshire, was “bursting with pride” following Lago’s performance on the half-pipe. “Lago’s name can be seen everywhere in town, and his posters line the walls of Town Hall,” Channel 9 reported. Poor Seabrook. How quickly fortunes can change. Instead of confetti and a parade down main street Lago will now likely find crickets when he deplanes back in his home town. AWKWARD!

Even though Lago reportedly attended a USOC “Ambassador Program” designed to assist athletes maintain acceptable conduct and be on their best behavior while the Olympics are still in progress, Lago couldn’t resist the urge to celebrate.

Lago went for the gold with his bronze … Lago went massive before sticking the landing … Lago got his medal bronzed if you know what I mean … That’s probably the best bronze job Lago ever had … Lago flipped the medal and quipped, “Call it in the air. Heads or tails?”

Geez. Do I have no shame? 🙂

Long story short, while out interacting with the fans, two pictures were taken of Lago with a young woman helping him celebrate his bronze medal performance in the half-pipe competition. Of course the pictures were published on the web site TMZ. (I have thoughtfully provided a direct link for those of you sick enough to look.)

In the first image Lago lifts his Team USA shirt, holds his bronze medal against the bulge in his pants and the beautiful woman kneels in front of Lago with her face in crotch and tries to kiss the medal while some others are seen standing and watching. I can only assume Lago shouted, “You’ve see the half-pipe. Now check out the whole thing!”  Then the young lady comes up for air and stands in front of Lago rewards the fan’s efforts by placing the bronze medal in her mouth. Now that is one well-trained snowboarding fan.

“Lago apologized to the U.S. Ski, Snowboard Association and with the U.S. Olympics Committee and decided to go back home.”

Please be good!

And now a little something from the “please-oh-please-oh-please be good” department. I’m a big Rob Corddry fan. 🙂

I sure hope this is as good as it looks. 🙂

Zombies and a silver platter

And now a reading from the book of The Zombie Survival Guide:

General Rules

1. Collective Response: As with any other type of combat, undead warfare should never be a solo mission. As stated before, in Western – particularly American – culture, there is the myth of the individual superbeing. One man or woman, well-armed and highly skilled, with nerves of steel, can conquer the world. In truth, anyone believing this should simply strip naked, holler for the undead, then lay down on a silver platter. Not only will going it alone get you killed – it may also create one more zombie. Working together, always together, has shown to be the only successful strategy for annihilating an undead army.

This has been a reading from the book of The Zombie Survival Guide.

Sheryl Crow is not a cougar

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Cougar? What the hell is that? The Urban Dictionary tells me that a “cougar” is an older woman who wants to score with a much younger man.

I have no idea if Sheryl Crow wants a younger man or not, but I do know this: She has got to be decades away from ever legitimately being described as a “cougar.”


It is being reported that Sheryl Crow is going to have a “major recurring role” on a TV show known as “Cougar Town.” Crow, who is 47, will reportedly not be playing herself.  I knew nothing of the show so I had to look it up, but it also stars Courteney Cox, a friend of Crow’s.

I started thinking about Crow recently while working (in vain) on my new attitude and listening to the song “Soak Up The Sun” over and over again. Damn Sheryl rocks that video!

The Great WordPress Outage of 2010

Something not worky at WordPress

Yesterday during the Great WordPress Outage of 2010 we huddled around our computers and used Twitter to keep in touch.

Today WordPress confirmed the news: The outage lasted about 110 minutes, affected 10.2 million blogs and deprived those blogs of about 5.5 million page views.

The outage was blamed on the actions of an unidentified “datacenter provider.”

Why is it that whenever anything in the world of technology goes wrong it is always the fault of some “datacenter provider?”

What a nebulous term. Who could these people be? Are they the same ones who make Soylent Green? Are these the people that thought Jay Leno at 10pm would be a good idea? Are they the ones responsible for the sequel to Phantom of the Opera?

And why is their identity being protected? The WordPress announcement about the outage only refers to this “datacenter provider” in the most mysterious of ways. Who is this shadow organization? Is it the Trilateral Commission? Do they have control over all the banks, not leaving WordPress any real options at being forthcoming? Why not release the name of the company? In fact, not only do I want the company identified, I want to know the name of the specific person who knocked over a can of Mountain Dew into some circuit board that caused the outage that started the domino effect that eventually took down the entire matrix.

This stuff is important. We’re talking about my free blog here, people!

By the way, the mathematician in me just couldn’t resist playing with those numbers that WordPress divulged in their statement. 10.2 million blogs down for 110 minutes being deprived of 5.5 million page views.

By my calculations, that means, assuming all things being linear (which they are probably not), WordPress must get about 72 million page views per day. With 10.2 million blogs that works out to be an average of 7 page views per blog per day.

Huh? What? People were getting excited about downtime affecting their blogs that get about 7 views a day? Even my POS blog gets more hits than that. 🙂