Walking Short

I was wondering: Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment when someone who was previously hardcore loses their ball sack? My working theory is that it has to do with starring in a Disney movie or being the voice for an overly cutesy cartoon character.

Let’s use Dwayne Johnson as an example. Sure he started out as some sort of cartoonish wrestling character, but eventually he became successful enough to pull down some “bad ass” roles in movies. I actually really liked his performance in “Walking Tall” where he grabbed a stick of lumber and cleaned up a town. Back then he had wood. It was believable. He chewed up the screen on that one.

Following up that performance, though, is “Race to Witch Mountain” and “Tooth Fairy.” Woosh! There went the ball sack and all the cred he so carefully built. 🙂

Steve Martin is someone else who lost his edge. Back in the day he was wearing rabbit ears and an arrow through the head and was joking about his “girlfriend’s pussy.” (The punchline: That cat was the best fuck I ever had.) Somewhere between that joke and “Cheaper By The Dozen” he totally lost it. Ball sack misplaced. Now he’s merely a multi-talented renaissance man that drives the ladies wild, but at what cost? He’s lost the edge that got him started.

Who else falls into this phenomenon? Eddie Murphy I think. Who else? I know one thing. Not Adam Sandler. He never had it. But I’ll bet there are lots of others who did and have since lost it. And I don’t blame them. If I was offered that kind of money for my ball sack I’d gobble it up, too.

4 responses

  1. That is hilarious. I agree with you about most of it – but Adam Sandler – I’ve always loved – I used to own almost every one of his movies – which is a lot more than you’d think! He’s sort of started to go down hill a bit lately though.


  2. OMG. We disagree on something. The world just stopped turning for me. 🙂

    Even I have to admit that Adam Sandler was good in The Wedding Singer. But a romantic lead or quarterback of a football team. Bzzzt! Not buying that. Sorry.

    But, like you say, even he illustrates the phenomenon, only in a slightly different way. Why do they peak and then start to go downhill? Do they make bad project choices? Get offered lesser parts? Go for roles that pay more but are more commercial crap?


  3. Ok, coming from a Disney Dork (as my daughter has named me) I admit that back in the day, sucumbing to voicing a Disney cartoon meant you couldn’t get work anywhere else. But now it’s a sought after gig. I love Jack Black and his voiceover in Kung Fu Panda is one of my favorites. But then, I have small children – so anything that is mildly entertaining and not sheer torture to watch for me, too is winner.


  4. Au contraire, you are probably the coolest Disney geek there ever was. Jack Black rocks. Kung Fu Panda did nothing to change that. 🙂

    Have you seen his George Washington? :p


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