Daily Archives: January 27th, 2010

Sexpresso: What part of ho don’t you understand?

Lookin' for a little coffee on girl action, honey?

If you thought fresh coffee spilled in your lap was enough to make you hot then get a load of this! Sexpresso. Say it with me. Sexpresso. The word just rolls off the tongue.

Sexpresso has been around for a while, but apparently it’s still too new for Wikipedia. No “sexpresso” page yet. I think this would be a rewarding project. Anyone want to help me publish one? Maybe launching a new Wikipedia page is my calling for 2010. I just knew I was going to do something significant for humanity this year. 🙂

Sexpresso is the term for a coffee stand that promotes a risque motiff featuring scantily clad baristas. Up in the Pacific Northwest drive-thru coffee stands are ubiquitous. Who knew that paying $3.25 for a cup of coffee could ever become such a booming business? The competition is fierce and sexpresso is a practice that started somewhere in the vicinity of Seattle, Washington, as one way to stand out from the crowd.

My town doesn’t have any sexpresso stands, but I’ve heard that it’s just your regular overpriced coffee served up by cute young women who may or may not have some coffee making skills who want to make fast money. The “barista” pictured on the left says she makes more in tips then she ever did as a waitress working at Hooters. (Click the image for the story.) They grow up so fast, don’t they?

I wonder if I wore a bikini to work if I’d make more in tips? Hmmm. Dammit, where is the outrage about my glass ceiling!

Sexpresso is popular. Bill Geist from CBS Sunday Morning even did a story about it way back in 2007. And it seems it has gotten bigger and bolder and sassier and slutier since then.

What do you like with your coffee? A little cream and sugar. Passé! Shots of Irish creme or Kahlua? Come on! Whiskey? Get real!

These days the proper accoutrements for your morning shot of joe are a bit more sophisticated. You probably won’t be surprised to learn that these sexpresso baristas have been pushing things to the limit as the competition heats up. The oldskool approach was to lean in on the customer when handing over the beverage to provide a few choice seconds of a maximized cleavage shot, just a quick bit of harmless fun that really enlarged the size of tips. (Heh.)

These days, though, cleavage is for wimps. How about a “booty shake” with your coffee? Or a pole dance? Yes, a stripper pole in a coffee stand. Wow. Other types of behavior that have been reported at some sexpresso stands: Boobie flashes, tramp-stamped baristas licking whipped cream from each others bodies, and posing nude for pictures. Come to think of it, I do like overpriced coffee after all!

The city of Everett, Washington, and Snomish County, Washington, have already enacted laws that treat sexpresso stands as adult businesses. On Tuesday, January 19th, the City Council in Yakima, Washington, voted 4-3 instructing city lawyers to draft new regulations to treat sexpresso stands as adult businesses. (Read the story here.)

Why does there always have to be a Scrooge? 🙂

Creepiness follow-up: Hidden camera activist arrested

What’s the best way to go around exposing corruption? By breaking the law, of course! (Allegedly.)

I wrote about this James O’Keefe fellow back in September 2009 in a blog post entitled: Hidden camera politics is the new creepiness. O’Keefe posed as a pimp and got people at ACORN to say some unfortunate things to his hidden camera. He enjoyed his 15-minutes of fame and then some.

Now Mr. O’Keefe is back in the news. As Reuters puts it: Activist accused of tampering with senator’s phone.

This is a breaking story and details are still sketchy. But it seems O’Keefe just might have gone out and bought himself a heap ‘o serious trouble. A little organization known as the FBI would now like a bit of his time. I feel pretty sure that the authorities will take a rather dim view of attempting to interfere with a Senator’s phone in a Federal building. Indeed!

Of course, O’Keefe is innocent until proven guilty. But if this story pans out, score another victory for truth, justice and the American way. Oops. “The ends justifies the means.” Yep. That’s better. If he’s guilty, no doubt we’ll see a crybaby book extolling the virtues of “how to root out corruption by breaking the law.”

Some people just ain’t got no sense. Or morals. Or ethics. Again, allegedly.

If convicted, the four face a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and a $250,000 fine, the FBI said.

Oh Lord, please hear my humble prayer!