Daily Archives: December 29th, 2009

You’ve got termination

Hey look! I've just been fired by text message!

Ebenezer Scrooge himself impersonating the Marquis de Sade in a North Pole elf suit couldn’t have played it better.

I’m talking about a news story from the universe (via AOL) that randomly washed up on my beach today: Trucker Laid Off Via Text Message

Niiiice. Big points for style. Extra points for shutting off company credit cards, no matter where the driver was located, and leaving them in the lurch. Oh yeah, “P.S. Please return our truck.”


Details of the severance package: $200 or a bus ticket to get home.

Ho ho ho.

Cell phones continue to impress the living fuckshit out of me. Is there anything these little marvels can’t do? These little guys are the workhorses of the information age and the modern capitalism-based economy.

So why did the news have to be so sudden to employees? I’d assume it’s because management was stealing every penny in sight to fuck over the creditors they’d been stringing along under the house of cards they’d built. Because one thing is certain: The idiot assholes who destroyed the company has gots to get paid, yo.

The company’s web site is down and the company seems to no longer exist. I guess we’re deprived of the opportunity to tell Arrow Trucking Co. to eat our ass. Lame.

Companies just love the idea of “at-will employment.” They think of it a free market win-win. “You can leave any time you want,” they say. “By the same token we reserve the same right.” I can’t think of anything more exhilarating than experiencing that kind of spur-of-the-moment challenge. If you think about it, it’s really a gift from your employer. Just another fun puzzle to solve, with the specter of your family going hungry and/or living on the street for added excitement. Win-win!

I don’t know about you but I just love the Christmas season. I love it when that merry feeling lingers on past the day itself. I feel so festive!