Daily Archives: December 28th, 2009

Unfriended by the universe

Yet another amazing photoshop - this one an orgiastic feast of color

Dear Universe,

After hearing that “unfriend” was the hilarious choice for word of the year 2009 by the New Oxford Dictionary, I had a great idea.

The more I think about it, the more I like it. I think you should unfriend me even though my spell checker doesn’t recognize the word yet.

No single word summed up 2009 better than “unfriend?” Really? How about “recession?” How about “unemployment?”

Before you say “no” to this idea, probably out of some misguided feeling that you have to include everyone, please take a moment and consider. I don’t need a “participant” ribbon any more. The one from the sixth-grade track meet still does just fine, thank you.

The benefits of unfriending me are endless. No more pee in your pool. No more clouds on your sunny day. No more diseases introduced into your clean garbage by the wretched refuse.

Please. Unfriend me. I insist.