Daily Archives: December 13th, 2009

On the twelfth dice of Christmas …

Congratulations! You are sitting at table eight!

Here is some late breaking news that Mrs. Abyss failed to share the first time she told me about her company’s Christmas party.

Woot. It’s an unexpected and serendipitous chance to talk about Christmas and dice again! 🙂

As a dice lover myself, even I thought this was outrageous. When employees arrived at the party a 12-sided die was rolled. The number shown on the die determined where the employee would be seated.

Now let me try to understand this. First the company told employees they could bring their spouses and significant others to the party but they would be charged $25. Now the company cruelly twists the friggin’ Christmas party and makes it serve double-duty as a bullshit touchy-feeling human-resources-style training event.

It’s the holiday season. Peace on Earth and goodwill towards people. To celebrate and show how much we care about you we’re going to randomize the seating to make your Christmas party meal as awkward and unpleasant as possible.

There is a time and place for that sort of thing and it is decidedly not the Christmas party! They are lucky I didn’t go. Would I have been forced to roll a die of my own and have a one-in-12 chance of sitting at the same table as my wife? I can only assume that yes, they’d be just that sick in the head.

Merry Christmas, ho ho ho! Whatever! Now roll them bones!