Tiger says, “They’re great!”

Eeek! A condom!

Just like that other famous Tiger, Mr. Woods apparently likes his frosted flakes. And by flakes I mean, of course, hoors.

Sorry, I just can’t help myself. It’s time for another Tiger post. Already??? Sorry, yeah.

I’m worried about The Tiger. I mean, what will he do to make a living if his endorsements get dumped? I’m worried about him going hungry. And his wife no doubt will lay claim to some of his fortune. They were married in 2004 and the initial prenuptial agreement was worth $20 million after 10 years of marriage. I’m sure all bets are off on that by now, though.

So what will he do if Nike, Gatorade, Gillette and Electronic Arts no longer want any part of the Tiger Woods image? Here are some of my ideas:

Condoms – My advice to Tiger: Strike now while the iron is hot. Pick a brand, any brand, and tee off a new television campaign.

Red Bull – This one seems like a no-brainer to me. If I was an executive at Red Bull, right about now I’d be saying, “We be gots to gettin’ us some Tiger. He must already be drinking our stuff. I mean, just look at him go!” The campaign practically writes itself, too. “Red Bull gives you swings!”

Viagra – Another no brainer. If he’s already on it, then it’s a match made in heaven. If he’s not, it can only bring a whole new level to his game. Either way it’s time for “Smiling Bob” to take a hike.

Female Viagra – What the? Is Tiger even attractive? I certainly don’t think so.So what is it about the man that makes him someone the women so desperately want to bag? Oh yeah, he’s on TV a lot and he’s rich. That’s about all it takes, right? Of course, it is kind of hard to be sponsored by money itself. Perhaps Money magazine?

Can you come up with any other sponsorship ideas of your own for Tiger? We may be the only chance he’s got!

6 responses

  1. Counter Culture Clown | Reply

    His poor mother-in-laws stomach must be churning…

    …OH wait… haha…

    Like

  2. You used “hoor”!!!! I heart you so much for this.

    Like

    1. Woot!

      Yeah, Im in ur blogz steeling yur wordz. 🙂

      Like

  3. If all else fails he could become a man whore, he’s pretty good at it too!

    Like

    1. Counter Culture Clown | Reply

      A man whore that wears slacks and ugly shirts and a goofy visor hat? Oh yeah, he’s bound to get clients looking like a 62-year old goober.

      Like

  4. OR any product that aids recovery from bruises sustained when the wife smashes you over the head with a golf club.

    Like

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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