Daily Archives: December 3rd, 2009

Refer to this private citizen as “Governor”

Yes yes yes. Sarah Palin is just a “private citizen” driving her RV around the country.

Don’t forget to address her as “Governor,” though.

Also, please remember that even though she’s on a bus tour she reserves the right to fly a private jet to get to her next stop and then back on that bus.

If I tried to sell stuff like this in a movie script no doubt I’d be laughed out of Hollywood for the story lacking believability! 🙂

By the way, check out the rad threads. She obviously knows a thing or two about fashion.

Obliviot customers

I'm so happy to take your call

I’ll be brief. Here is a recap of some recent customer phone calls. Enjoy.

Customer calls. “I created an account and I can’t log in.” I give the customer a password reset. No joy. I look at the customer’s account. There is a typo in his username that he created all by himself. Fix the typo, good to go. D’oh!

Another customer calls. He wants to email us an image. We give him our email address. No joy – that’s too complicated for him to figure out. “Do you still have the email we sent,” we ask. Yes. “Fine. Just reply to that.” The customer then says, I don’t know how to reply to an email. I am not making this shit up!!!

We get a voice mail from a customer. “I’m calling about my order and my telephone number is XYZ.” Great. They didn’t provide their name, which believe it or not, can often be quite handy for locating their fucking order. Of course they didn’t provide their order number, either. And the phone number they provided is not the same one they included with their original order. Unfortunately our web site isn’t capable of identifying orders simply by the sound of their voice just yet. That leaves us an impossible trail for searching which means we can’t look up their record and review it and have it on our screen when we call them back. And when we do make that phone call, it goes a little something like this: “Hi there. I’m Tom the whore calling from XYZ Corp. Someone at this number, we don’t know who, called about something, we don’t know what. Can you find that person for me?”

You’ve got a Tiger gettin’ tail

Buck Owens was way ahead of his time

This morning in the shower I wrote another big romantic ballad and I’m sharing it here with you. Praise the Lord that “tail” means something different today than it did back when Buck Owens was singing his version. 🙂


Sung to the tune of “I’ve Got A Tiger By The Tail” by Buck Owens.

You’ve Got A Tiger Gettin’ Tail

You’ve got a Tiger gettin’ tail that’s plain to see
Turns out he ain’t no big fan of monogamy
His car is lookin’ beat and he’s looking mighty pale
Looks like we’ve got a Tiger gettin’ tail

The day that he first met her he thought she was the one
Just the kind to fit his dreams and plans
Now the pace he’s livin’ takes the wind from her sails
And it looks like we’ve got a Tiger gettin’ tail

[ guitar]

Now every night the floozies drag him where the bright lights’re found
There ain’t no way to slow him down
He’s about as helpless as a leaf in a gale
And it looks like we’ve got a Tiger gettin’ tail

Can you add your own verse? Pound the comment function and let me hear it! 🙂