I’ll be brief. Here is a recap of some recent customer phone calls. Enjoy.

Customer calls. “I created an account and I can’t log in.” I give the customer a password reset. No joy. I look at the customer’s account. There is a typo in his username that he created all by himself. Fix the typo, good to go. D’oh!

Another customer calls. He wants to email us an image. We give him our email address. No joy – that’s too complicated for him to figure out. “Do you still have the email we sent,” we ask. Yes. “Fine. Just reply to that.” The customer then says, I don’t know how to reply to an email. I am not making this shit up!!!

We get a voice mail from a customer. “I’m calling about my order and my telephone number is XYZ.” Great. They didn’t provide their name, which believe it or not, can often be quite handy for locating their fucking order. Of course they didn’t provide their order number, either. And the phone number they provided is not the same one they included with their original order. Unfortunately our web site isn’t capable of identifying orders simply by the sound of their voice just yet. That leaves us an impossible trail for searching which means we can’t look up their record and review it and have it on our screen when we call them back. And when we do make that phone call, it goes a little something like this: “Hi there. I’m Tom the whore calling from XYZ Corp. Someone at this number, we don’t know who, called about something, we don’t know what. Can you find that person for me?”