Daily Archives: October 18th, 2009

To boldly go where some asshole has gone before

Assholes in nature beer can garbageAh! The great outdoors. I’m fortunate to live in what I consider the best spot on planet Earth. Just minutes in any direction can be found natural wonders. Rivers, lakes, mountains, forests, the ocean and more.

Having an active imagination, it is easy for me to escape from reality as I hike through the forest. “When was the last time another human was here?” I may ask myself. Who knows. It could be years, maybe even decades.

But then…

I look down at my feet and see one of the most grotesque sights imaginable. Something like an aluminum beer can. Ugh. The trick is trying to keep it from making me angry.

It is easy to drift off into imagination and think, “All I need is a time machine and an assault rifle. I’ll nip this problem in the bud!” Oh yes, that is a very satisfying thought.

What is the scope of this sort of thing? I can go to any wilderness reserve or area. Hike in a random direction for miles. Stop. Scan around my feet. The probability is ~ 99.99 percent that some form of human trash will be visible. It might be a cigarette butt, broken glass from a beer bottle, a beer bottle cap, a beer can, a cigaratte pack or a soda bottle/can. It’s simply astounding the number of assholes it must take to be so blaise and produce that amount of trash.

This is also why I don’t believe in karma. I’ve thought about it, really thought about it, and I can’t remember tossing a piece of trash, not once, in my entire life. Yet everwhere I go I encounter the trash of other jerks. No karma!

I’ll keep exploring the beautiful outdoors and I feel fortunate to live where I do, but as I keep finding ugly trash, I’ll be dreaming for the day when the time machine is finally invented.