Did you give them your money?

I guess you could call this the next chapter in the saga I’m loosely calling: Did you give them your money??? You’ll find my first volley on this topic in a previous blog post entitled: Chip Clip – The Power to Fuck You.

My general theory goes like this:

Giving someone your money is giving them the power to fuck you.

A few months ago my wife bought a Faberware 8-cup percolator coffee pot from Amazon.com. It looks like the product pictured here.

It seemed to have nice reviews. It was $44.99. It was Faberware, which, I admit, I don’t know much about, but that seemed to be a nice name brand. I’d at least heard of them before.

The thing worked for about six months before it croaked. Yeah, it was made in China.

I got in the habit of removing the detachable power cord during cleaning. (I didn’t want it to get wet.) The next morning, I’d plug the cord back in.

You’ll never guess what happened next. Yuppers. It broke. At the spot where you plug the cord in. I was pushing gently when the entire receptable broke away and disappeared somewhere inside the base of the unit.

Now that I think about it, their design sucks. There was nothing there, no lip or anything like that, to help hold the cord receptable in place. What did they use? Glue?!?!?

Now get this. I borrowed a coffee pot from my aunt. She got it from her grandpa. And he got it from a friend. I don’t know the exact age of this thing, but it is old. And it has been handed down three times! And it works better than the shiny brand new one I just bought a few months ago.

That’s amazing, isn’t it? The sentiment I keep hearing seems to be: “They sure don’t make ’em like they used to.” In this case that certainly seems to be very true.

Next up: Memorex Slim Jewel Cases, 10px.

Was there ever a time when the name Memorex commanded respect? I certainly remember them from my youth. Those were the good old days. A cassette recorder with a Memorex tape. I’d hold a microphone up to the stereo speakers as I played my favorite LP and copied my favorite songs. (I think I may have just dated myself.) You’d often hear me whispering in a terse voice:Shhhh! I’m recording!!

But I disgress. This wonderful little product was something like $4.99 at Target. I didn’t think much of the price at the time. Something I needed, I can handle that price. Let’s go.

Can you see it coming yet? Guess what happened next. 🙂

I opened the package and little pieces of plastic started falling out. “Hmm. What could these possibly be,” I asked myself. “Probably excess plastic. At least I hope so.”

Nope. I couldn’t be that lucky. I ended up with seven little pieces of plastic, which, as it turned out, were vital components to the operation of the jewel cases that had been pre-broken. Seven out of 10 of my brand new product were broken from the moment I removed the shrink wrap. That is a failure rate of 70 percent!

Now my dilema is that it’s not even worth it to drive back to the shitty store and return a friggin’ product worth $4.99.

Oh, and regarding the price? 49 cents each didn’t seem like such a bad deal. But that’s just the case! I realized that a 50pk of CD-R from Staples is only $17.98 or 35 cents each. These friggin’ cases were more expensive than the CDs that would eventually reside within. Unbelievable.

Lastly, I wish to discuss my Pioneer Viera 42″ plasa TV. Three yeas ago I paid $2,380 for this baby. It was nice. I loved the unit and the picture it displayed.

Guess what happens next? Yup. One day, after the warranty, I was watching TV and it just died. Foom! No more picture, no more power light, no more little clicky sound when pushing the power button. I talked to a local TV repair shop and was told, “Those things are pieces of crap. It’ll cost you $75 just to take a look at it.”

Long story short, the TV has been sitting unused for about six months now, and I don’t know if it is worth the money to see if it can be fixed.

Curses, fucked again!