Dear <Company>,

You recently advertised the position of <XYZ> with your company. I was excited because I’ve been a customer of yours for years (which is how I heard about the job in the first place) and it was just the sort of job I’ve been looking for. I came down and took the time to fill out your extremely annoying application form. You guys sure are thorough, but you did forget to ask for a poop sample. Then I waited.

And waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, I gave up. I never heard back from you. Not even the courtesy of a thank you. No phone call, not even a friggin’ rejection form letter.

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