Regurgitated: Beast in Show

Once upon a time I participated in a thirty-day challenge where you had to write 30 stories containing exactly 30 words each. It was a 30-30-30 kind of a thing.

30 (thirty) is the natural number following 29 and preceding 31.
–Source: Wikipedia – 30 (number)

If you find that factoid interesting and fascinating (thanks Wikipedia!) then you’re going to love Brawndo – The Thirst Mutilator. It’s especially effective for people who never learned how to count. (Be sure to thank the person reading you this post.)

This piece of regurgitated gristle is brought to you by Brawndo, a proud sponsor of the American scream. Brawndo: It’s got what plants crave!

Above this line you’ll find exactly three times as many words as the original post, which you can read for yourself if you click the following link. If you can’t follow that simple instruction, move the little mousy and make it a go-go.

Beast In Show

The Great Intersection of 2013

The Street Where I Shiv

“Grandpa, tell me the story again,” the little snot-nose whined.

The old man sighed. On the other hand, there was no one else around and he was bored. And he did love having an audience.

“It was a long, long time ago,” he said easily. By now the story was an old friend. It was like slipping his toes into a well worn pair of penny loafers with old leather comfortably broken in. Not at all like plastic, like Crocs, that all the snot-nosed sons of bitches called “shoes” these days.

“I think the year was 2013. Yeah, that was the last time it happened. The likes of which the world has never seen again.”

“Back then,” the old man continued, “I was still able to drive a car. The snot noses hadn’t taken away my license yet in the name of public safety. I think I must have been about 104.”

“So there I was, minding my business, driving through town. Yup, yup. Don’t interrupt, snot nose. This town. The very same town you and I still call home.”

“You know,” the old man paused, reminiscing, “back then it was still possible to hit a green light.” He shook his head. It was best not to think about such things.

“What’s a green light,” the kid interjected.

“I told ya, snot nose. Don’t interrupt yer elders. You want the story or not?”

J.J. Abrams is your father!!!

It always a fun time when one of the Abyss family gets a moment in the sun. And by “family” I mean people we’ve blasted in the past. Here’s to you, J.J. Abrams. -Ed

There are so many great moments in the history of Star Wars:

Darth Vadar cuts Obi-Wan Kenobi in half with his lightsaber.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Darth Vader reveals that he is Luke Skywalker’s baby daddy.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

George Lucas gets an idea for a new character to provide comic relief.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Disney Corporation gobbles up Lucasfilm Corporation.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The White House rejects a petition to build the Death Star.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

J.J. Abrams announced as director of Star Wars 7.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Obama Sign #photography

Today’s post was supposed to be a literary masterpiece on the topic of “work.” Unfortunately, with a topic like that, my writing was a little too productive and I ended up with too much content. The writing process I undertook could best be described as written diarrhea.

For the person who read my tweet and expected something about “work” today, I apologize. Time is short so I have to go on an unplanned diversion.

I have dug deep into my personal photographic archive of signs for today’s photography post.

Day Thirteen #BlogFestivus – The Thirteenth Day of Christmas

This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

The Thirteenth Day of Christmas
by Tom B. Taker

It was Friday.

The others had since gone away, but something compelled him to press on. He entered the decrepit and disused skyscraper and crossed the deserted lobby.

Day Twelve #BlogFestivus – Hitting the Sweet Spot

This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

Hitting the Sweet Spot
by Tom B. Taker

It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who precariously balanced the 55-gallon drum at the top of a steep ramp, and in the middle of the workplace, too. But I didn’t do anything about it, either. I was complicit through inaction.

Day Eleven #BlogFestivus – A Piece of Cake

This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

A Piece of Cake
by Tom B. Taker

Doug “The Wrench” Stromboli had always been an exceptional plumber. As a third generation Stromboli he had naturally taken up the family business, but his secret inner passions had always been elsewhere. No one had ever discovered his prized secret possession: An Easy-Bake oven.