Bird Ingestion Nth Guano Objectives #poop

In our excrement we are pleased to bring you this latest piece of coverage in our ongoing series All Things Poop. No one covers poop like us.

Sure, BINGO is glitzy, glamorous and loads of fun, but it has never been made accessible to the hip under-80 crowd. Until now.

Once upon a time some touchy-feely bleeding-heart bastards had kittens about cock fighting and criminalized that great and wonderful sport. Suddenly the human race was left to wither on the barren wastes in search of another intrepid activity worthy of our abscessions.

If you’ve been pining for the next great bird-oriented sport, well, wait no longer! Your prayers have been answered! No more living on a wing and a prayer.

Is the sky falling? Nope. It’s just Chicken Little. And he’s here for a very good reason.

My Olympic Movement

Most of everything in the universe is average.—
Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) July 29, 2012

Image Source: Poop The World Blog

Always eager in my quest to be a furry little lemming, I’ve decided to microblog the Olympics. I have my microbeer in hand. I am microready! (That sounds suspiciously like popcorn. Oh well, such is my fate.) Grab your butter flavoring. It’s go time.

This is my Olympic movement. Or, as I sometimes like to call it, a Movement for the Common Man.

I’m sure most of my reader have evacuated by now. Looks like it’s just gonna be you and me.

So, what is/are the Olympics? Perhaps the simplest definition (and the one found in the Demotivational Dictionary) is: an average throng observing and celebrating the spectacle of their own outliers.

Wikipedia says, “In statistics, an outlier is an observation that is numerically distant from the rest of the data. Grubbs defined an outlier as: An outlying observation, or outlier, is one that appears to deviate markedly from other members of the sample in which it occurs.”

In other words, the Olympics are the sporting version of the universe telling you, “On the bell curve you’re the dingle dangle that hangs down on the bottom. The cling clang thingie that gives the bell it’s special sound.”

Yes, without the average, the outliers would have nothing to outlie from to set themselves apart. Think about it. That’s perhaps the deepest thing I’ve ever said. It’s an outlier of thought.

In other other words, the Olympics are all about watching the select few who have won something known as the DNA Lotto.

Termination Tuesday – All Good Things

Sponsored by Preparation H.

Termination is such sweet sorrow.

Termination Tuesday – The Super Bowel I

Sponsored by Preparation H.

Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 2 – Slaughter Conference

It’s time for grizzly bone-crushing fun!

Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 1 (Sudden Death) – Execution Conference

It’s time for sudden death!

Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 1 – Execution Conference

Let’s get ready to rumble!!