To date I have never shared my picture. It’s a necessary evil since I choose to remain anonymous on my blog. But that doesn’t mean I can’t show you what I look like.
Above we see a recruit known only as “Gomer Pyle” from the excellent movie Full Metal Jacket. I’ve actually been called Pyle by some keen-eyed friends who noticed the uncanny resemblance.
Here we see Commodore Matt Decker, a Starfleet officer who was the commander of the USS Constellation. Decker had a bad day when he beamed his crew down to a planetoid (where he believed they would be safe) so he could go battle with an alien machine known only as “the planet killer” mano-a-mano. Oops. The USS Constellation barely survived the encounter and the planet killer ate the planet along with his crew.
For a long time I’ve felt that Matt Decker would be the perfect Halloween costume for me.
To the right please allow me to introduce Malakili. Do you recognize him? This good looking fellow didn’t exactly have the biggest part of all-time in the Star Wars franchise. He made he appearance in Return of the Jedi. Still can’t recognize him? He was a denizen of Jabba’s palace. It turns out the Jabba the Hutt had a trap door in his audience hall. Yes, the very same trap door that surprised Luke Skywalker himself. Below that door lived a beast known as the Rancor. The Rancor was a giant monster thing that had feasted on many victims until it faced Skywalker and lost. After the death of the Rancor we meet Malakili, the Rancor Keeper, and he gets his 10 seconds of screen time. It’s a touching scene as he mourns the loss of his beloved friend. Again the resemblance is uncanny and I’ve often thought this would also make a perfect Halloween costume for me.
If you can somehow morph these three characters together in your mind you should end up with a highly accurate approximation of my appearance. But why in the hell would you want that?
Other notable mentions…
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo – No further explanation needed, eh?
Finally, an actual photograph of yours truly, pixelated, of course: