critics rave

People talk about me. Here we separate fart from friction.

“Tom is a pith of freth aire.”
–Friction

“Tom for President 2012!”
–Fart

“Every human being is a unique and special snowflake. Tom puts the ‘special’ in that tired old cliché.”
–Friction

“He’s very disturbed…..and I like it!”
–Fart

“Tom is the ‘perfect storm’ of failure.”
–Fart (Source: Tom B. Taker)

“@shoutabyss seriously that was the best tweet of the day.”
–Fart

“[Tom] is the perfect combination of pith and vinegar.”
-Fart (Source: Tom B. Taker)

“On the eighth day the Lord made Tom B. Taker.”
–Friction

“You rock!”
-Fart (Source: My psychoanalyst after I was agreeable to her canceling my appointment so she could go drinking with friends)

“In the hamburger of life Tom is the pink slime.”
–Friction

“You are a big baby, baby.”
–Fart

“You’ve never seen a cherry stem tied in a knot faster by anyone. Or with more style and allure!”
–Friction

“You are the cleverest man on this planet.”
–Fart

“In the football game of life, Tom is the spikey part.”
–Friction

“Irrepressible!”
–Fart

“Cute as a bug’s ear. I literally mean that.”
–Friction

“Well, aren’t you jusst a ray of sunshine?”
–Fart

More coming soon! (Probably not.)