This year, rather than post the same “hey look at me!” crapola found on every other WordPress blog (no offense intended) I decided to do something different. I asked my wife to share her favorite blog posts from 2012 and offer commentary. Her detailed remarks, verbatim quotations, and links to her hand-selected posts are found under the video below.
Here are my favorite Top 12 Abyssian posts of 2012 from yours truly, Tom B. Taker. I skip most of his posts so this may not represent a fair break down of this last year’s events, but I got a life, ya know? I read the tags first. Anything with the words work, boss, hate, anger, whining, poop, politics, religion, negativity (you get my drift) and I skip right on by. Oh looky there, #poop tag for the win!
I remember this fight….vividly. The first part of this post is brilliant as Tom actually captured EVERY word I said, though it may not have reflected my true anger. The last half of the post is just blah, blah, blah, more boring bullshit.
I learned a hard lesson this day. Well, actually two. Never and I repeat NEVER shop at Wal-Mart again! And most importantly, never and I repeat NEVER EVER take Tom shopping again!!!
Pink Grafted Cactus – aka “Heisenberg” is mostly dead. It only took about six months to actually plant the cactus in the “cute pot and saucer.” I do not have a green thumb, which Tom knows, but he nagged me to death on a weekly basis to plant the damned cactus. I finally asked a friend to plant it for me. It actually grew an inch. Then, sadly, the pink grafted head shriveled and died. Now it sits, where it always does, with odd shoots growing out of the trunk.
Jar of Cactus – seriously.
Hooters Wing Breading – I threw that back on the shelf… ’nough said.
Kansas City Prime Steak Flavor potato chips – those I let him keep hoping that the “flavor” of fake beef juices would kick him off the vegetarian wagon. I was sick of the constant bitching about not being able to eat meat even though it was his decision to go vegetarian. Didn’t work though. Those chips smelled like a really bad, really cheap can of off-brand dog food. Didn’t stop Tom from quaffing the whole bag, though.
Starbucks new VIA instant coffee – one day he emails me and says,”my tummy doesn’t feel very good. I drank that coffee and I think there was something wrong with it.” Figured out he used one whole packet for one cup of coffee when the package read “two servings.”
Giant 64 ounce “Equate” Walmart brand ketchup – watery, tasteless, made in China.
Tom has man crush… and I love him too! Do I hear a three way? What, what?
Easy pick. I HATE phones in restaurants and I LOVE Tom’s use of verbiage here;
“Cram that food shit in your fucking face hole.”
This may only be funny to you if you watched all the episodes of “Out of the Wild.” This post really hits home with me… I think I married a 14 year old.
My favorite post EVER! OK, I’ll admit I wrote it, but it’s so funny considering it’s all-true.
Just take a listen. It’ll be the best 26 seconds of you life…trust me.
Okay, so maybe this isn’t the best post of August… but I remember it so well. I came up with a lame lie to get out of said poker party and spent five glorious hours home alone. I’ll say it again in case you missed it… ALONE. Just me and I. That’s rare for me. Sorta like Tom being positive.
YES! 365 days a year and I get one of those days where Tom actually takes care of me for a change.
Oh so proud of my guy. Even though I only read about 50% of Tom’s posts, I am very proud of him when he hits on for the win.
Almost the only non-political post I could find for November.
It’s a pie chart. What’s not to love about pie?!
See you next year!