I’ve had this casual and-and-off thing with poop in the past. I’ve decided to formalize and normalize the relationship. [sniff] It gets me right here. Pass me a tissue, will ya?
Introducing TWIP, or, as I like to call it, This Week In Poop. Weekly? Probably not. I doubt the feature will be that regular. Still I’m willing to take a swipe at it.
You knock me off of my feet now girl. Hee-Hee! Ooh! Go On Girl! Aaow!
Sometimes in the world of pop … er, I mean, poop … you have to act fast or you might miss out. (I think there’s a term for this but it escapes me.)
Like the other day when bird poop resembling pop star Michael Jackson was up for sale on eBay. Luckily I keep a close eye on all things poop and quickly sniffed it out.
It all happened when pop enthusiast Brandon Tutor, age 29, was out driving and a bird dropped in to say “howdy” to the windshield on his car. Always the observant one, Tutor instantly recognized that the doo doo was reminiscent of Michael Jackson. So he did what any music lover would do. He carefully taped it off and put the entire windshield up for auction on eBay.
Alas, there is no happy ending here. Weather damaged the windshield and Tutor was forced to pull the auction. Not one to be kept down, though, Tutor established a page on Facebook called “Michael Jackson Bird Shat” so the memory of the windshield will live on forever. Get me my dancin’ shoes!
Hey, windshields have wipers, too. It’s the circle of life!
In these tough economic times companies like to diversify. Companies that fail to spread their wings will go the way of print newspapers and the dodo.
So it makes perfect sense that a toilet manufacturer would invent a motorbike that runs on poop. Nothing screams knowledge of the open road like a toilet. And even though the motorbike is designed to run on animal poop, it still has a seat that is a toilet!
The Japanese company hopes to make a splash with the unusual three-wheeled mode of transportation designed to run up to 180 miles on a tank of animal waste. No word yet if both of your legs will fall asleep 20 minutes into your “ride.” And, like you might expect, the toilet paper holder is mounted inconveniently under the rear license plate where it is very hard to reach. As always!
Finally I’d like to close out this piece with a touching personal story. Indulge me if you will.
I recently received an email from a friend. It contained a link and a mysterious note. “This made me think of you!”
Intrigued, I clicked the link. I had to study the page closely to finally grok the meaning. Can you? True aficionados of my blog will know the specific image that created an image of “guru” in my friend’s mind.
That’s it for this edition of TWIP. Tune in next time when we’ll take a look at poop.