The other day when I wrote about Facebook being the new creepy I got so worked up and excitable that I completely forgot the point. The main point. Writing an entire article and forgetting the primary thrust. Yeah, that’s me in a nutshell. And in more ways than one, if you get my thrust. (Wink, wink.)
This is part two in our ongoing series entitled Shit I Forgot To Say. Enjoy!
Let’s say you’re the elite. You wisely went out and got yourself a shiny Facebook page.
You voluntarily put your real name on it.
You populated the account with a myriad of pictures of your wonderful countenance. Because the world needs more of that. Yeah.
And then, gasp, you did something truly out there. You went way beyond the pale.
You spoke the truth about that fig pucker, your boss.
Obviously you can never have a job again.
It makes perfect sense if you think about it. What’s the last thing your new boss wants? Honesty.
Your current boss is the biggest dill hole in the universe? That’s the last thing your new boss wants to hear about. And, here’s the rub. The real reason prospective employers want to dissect your Facebook account has nothing to do with predicting your performance, judging your grasp of reality, or seeing how you get along with others.
It’s all about: Is this sucker impertinent enough to actual criticize a boss?
Q. What did one boss tell the other about the prospective employee?
A. Don’t hire that guy. He gives bad mouth.
This may seem like a weak point, but consider their worldview of the typical boss. They are the bestest. They are infallible. They don’t make mistakes. They are good-hearted people who provide for others (unable to provide for themselves) by being beneficent and giving them a job.
Their need to make money has absolutely nothing to do with it.
“I hired you because you’re family.” That’s also the reason why I shit on your face every chance I get. Lick my boot heel, slave.
Sheesh. I praise God every morning I’m not a part of your biological family. It must be hell to be liked by you.
Bosses see the world as “us” and “them.” They are one of the us and you are one of the them.
So when you, one of the helpless people they so desire to take care of and provide for, comes looking for a job, they need to make sure you are happy and content with your “them” status. That’s why they need access to your Facebook. It’s the very best way to see if you’ve ever dared to utter a single critical word about one of the “us.”
Sacrilege. Blasphemy. Unclean. Bad form to the nth degree.
Anyone who dares to think harshly of one of the biggest assholes of all time? They sure as hell ain’t gonna be part of this family. There’s no way we can withstand that level of honesty and still do business.