America’s Got Talent: Hoff Beef Injection

When not previously committed to playing an old guy in a Knight Rider spin off, eating a hamburger, or video taping himself while drunk, American celebrity David Hasselhoff somehow also finds the time to be a staple on the hit TV show America’s Got Talent.

I find it hard to take my eyes off him. It’s a lot like looking at an automobile accident. You just can’t help yourself. (I personally think this is in our DNA and passed down as a survival instinct. You had to look at what killed that other thing just in case it might be something that could kill you. Those with this instinct lived to pass on their genes.)

David, or as he likes to call himself, The Hoff, stands on stage and the TV audience goes wild. He raises his arms up in the air. Again the audience goes wild.

The really compelling stuff, though, is what comes out of his mouth. He has adopted the practice of taking existing words and modifying them by adding his name “Hoff”  in the word.

That performance was HOFF the charts!

That was HOFFtastic!

These “hoffisms,” if that term may be permitted, can often turn out to be an entertaining part of the show. What will he come up with next, we wonder? Just how low can he go in his shameless self-promotion? The Hoff stuff has risen to the level of being a gimmick for the overall show. How did that happen?

Watching The Hoff “judge” the various acts on their “talent” he seems to have a special and pronounced penchant for the ladies. As he leers and makes lewd comments, somehow I just know the lecherous old man would love to take some of the female contestants out to sample their hofferings.

That’s when I had the idea to come up with a hoffism of my very own.

Go give ‘em the hoff beef injection, David!

I’m sure they’ll appreciate the hoffgasms.